The team you’ve never seen play but everybody knows what their away shirt looks like:

Dulka Prague

Half Man Half Biscuit are massive Tranmere Rovers fans. Wikipedia says:

“The band played live more and more infrequently, preferring one-off gigs to tours, driving home each night to sleep in their own beds and arranging concerts to coincide with Tranmere Rovers’ away fixtures, a football team supported by all the members of the band. Half Man Half Biscuit famously turned down the chance to appear on seminal 80s rock show The Tube, as Tranmere were playing that night, even though Channel Four offered to fly them by helicopter to the game following their take in the studio.”

Who Ate All The Pies had this to say about the band and this track :

“In 1986, cult Birkenhead punk-folk band Half Man Half Biscuit – one of John Peel’s favourite all-time groups – released their infamous debut single, ‘The Trumpton Riots’. On the B-side was the almost-as-infamous track, ‘All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague away kit’, a wonderful study of adolescent rivalry and table football.”

Half Man Half Biscuit

» Half Man Half Biscuit – All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit (Peel Session)

Sample lyrics: “And he’d managed to get hold of a Dukla Prague away kit /’cause his uncle owned a sports shop and he’d kept it to one side /And after only five minutes you’d be down to ten men /’cause he’d sent off your right back for taking the base from under his left winger..”

Also – The band performing the song on the Old Grey Whistle Test:


HMHB went back to the Xmas theme with this track from their Trouble Over Bridgewater album, released in 2000. A purposely clichéd tune which will make you sing along (another cliché) along with with clichéd lyrics and the topper to all this – some children singing the chorus. You can’t help yourself and you will be humming it after listening:

Half Man Half Biscuit – It’s Clichéd to Be Cynical at Christmas

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