Who Invented Fish & Chips?

Fat Les

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Yes yes…St George’s Day is coming up…and there are lots of searches for anything uniquely English.

Funnily enough though most of the English (England) songs were co-penned by a bloke born in Wales.
But we don’t hold that against him.

I’m talking, of course, about one Keith Philip George Allen.

– He started out by playing a blinder with New Order and World In Motion.
– Then a few years later kept up his performance by singing with Black Grape on England’s Irie.

Plus we [initially] had some shits and giggles in his involvement with Alex James & Damien Hirst under the guise of FAT LES… but then after this he seemed to lose some form…

After the 1998 barnstormer of Vindaloo (which annoyed the suits at the F.A. because the official offering was limp in comparison), that clueless lot in Lancaster Gate knew when they were beaten and they asked Mr Allen & his cohorts to do something for Euro 2000.

And what they came up wasn’t original. But this tune is one familiar to everybody regardless of whether you went to church or not. In this “modern version” of a hymn with words by William Blake, they roped in a 60-piece orchestra and four choirs: gospel, children’s, celebrity and gay.

Fat Les

» Fat Les 2000 – Jerusalem

…and the video:

There was also a remixed version: courtesy of Tennant/Lowe:

» Fat Les 2000 – Jerusalem (Pet Shop Boys Mix)

But it didn’t end there…

You might have thought that was the last we heard from them, but you would be wrong.
Two years later they would once again trot out an England-related tune, this time via a self-release.

I don’t know whether this was because they wanted to go on their own – or more probably – because a record company heard the following tune and wanted nothing to do with it.

– A notable thing with this record with the guest vocals coming from a 17 year old Lily Rose Allen. The first time that she was recorded on a single, three years before she would strike out on her own.

The song itself was crap. No literally it was crap. They put it in the title:

Fat Les - Who Invented Fish & Chips

» Fat Les – Who Invented Fish & Chips ? (Who Invented Poo?)

Sample

Who invented this? (God)
Who invented that? (God did too)
Who invented this and that, (The English Did)
Well who invented those?

Who invented Fish? (God)
Who invented Chips? (God did too)
Who invented Fish & Chips, (The English Did)
Well who invented poo? (Your Mum did) (Ohh)

You ponce, you slag, pop it in the onion bag
You ponce, you slag, pop it in the onion bag

We’ll give you what we’ve got
We’ll give you what we’ve got

We’re England, England and we’ve given so much.
We’re England, England and we’re coming for a ?

Who invented Love? (God)
Who invented Hate? (God did too)
Who invented Love & Hate, (The English Did)
Well who invented poo? (Tchee)

Who invented time? (God)
Who invented time? (God did too)
Well who invented half time? (The English Did)
Well who invented poo? (Your Dad did too)

You ponce, you slag, pop it in the onion bag
You ponce, you slag, pop it in the onion bag

We’ll give you what we’ve got
We’ll give you what we’ve got

We’re England, England and we’ve given so much.
We’re England, England and we’re coming for a ?

(50% of the inventions inverted after the second world war have been English.)
(Yep bang on mate)

Trains, Boats, Planes, Computers, Penicillin, Connect Four, Countdown, Generation Game, Telephones

Gimme more, Gimme more.

Parliament, National Health, Luddites, Bessemer Converter, Spinning Jenny, Steam, Internal Combustion, Hovercraft, The Clash, Blur, Oasis, Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Capstan Full Strength, Navy Rum, Hipsters, Hippies, Flares, Vera Lynn and Chris Kamara

We’ll give you what we’ve got.
Gimme more, Gimme more.
We’ll give you what we’ve got.
Gimme more, Gimme more.

We’re England, (England England) and we given so much.
We’re England, England and we’re coming for a ?

Who invented Fish? (God)
Who invented Chips? (God did too)
Who invented Fish & Chips, (The English Did)
Well who invented poo? (The Dutch) (No)

Who invented time? (God)
Who invented time? (God did too)
Well who invented half time? (The English Did)
The Dutch invented Poo? (Really)

Right now, come on, we’re waiting.
Right now, come on, we’re waiting.
Right now, come on, we’re waiting.
And We’ve given so much we’re taking something back.

“Who invented Fish? (God)
Who invented Chips? (God did too)
Who invented Fish & Chips, (The English Did)
Well who invented poo? (Your Mum did) (Ohh)”

Wait there’s more…

“Who invented time? (God)
Who invented time? (God did too)
Well who invented half time? (The English Did)
Well who invented poo? (Your Dad did too)

You ponce, you slag, pop it in the onion bag
You ponce, you slag, pop it in the onion bag”

– and some more:

“(50% of the inventions inverted after the second world war have been English.)
(Yep bang on mate)

Trains, Boats, Planes, Computers, Penicillin, Connect Four, Countdown, Generation Game, Telephones.

Gimme more, Gimme more.

Parliament, National Health, Luddites, Bessemer Converter, Spinning Jenny, Steam, Internal Combustion, Hovercraft, The Clash, Blur, Oasis, Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Capstan Full Strength, Navy Rum, Hipsters, Hippies, Flares, Vera Lynn and Chris Kamara !”

If you want to see the full lyrics go here.

– Thanks to the wonderful You Tube we have the video:
In the clip you’ll see the teenage Allen, plus an appearance from Kammy. Oh and there’s Wayne Sleep pirouetting through Carnaby Street …

- Link to video

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