Continuing a mini-series looking at the lower ranked World Cup teams.

Yesterday it was NZ, today it is those mysterious North Koreans…

North Korea

There was an erroneous report that went out the other day about four of their players going missing.
        Looking at the above pic I think their number 10 is about to do a runner.
Some wishful thinking by the decadent western press there because the favourite sons of the beautiful Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il wouldn’t do a Robinho at Citeh or Lampard in that last game. In truth later on they might do an Escape to Victory…but because they are still in this they’ll see it through to the end of the third match. Then after a pitch invasion they’ll slip out with the crowd.

Before I continue… If you haven’t listened to it yet then have a listen to Danny Baker’s show on Radio Five Live from last Wednesday. [Mirrored here because they only stay on the Beeb website for a short amount of time.] I don’t know how he pulled it off, but the Candyman is down there in South Africa and last Wed he went to watch the Brazil v North Korea match. Because the North Korean’s are the very dictionary definition of an underdog team he decided to support them and you can hear his updates before, during and after that game. Plus he and some of the callers to the show come up with some fantastic chants for North Kor…sorry the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea:

“Totalitarianism has it advantages”

“Where were you at the glorious stadium as gifted by our leader Kim Jong-il last September/ Where were you at the socialist stadium as gifted by our leader Kim Jong-il last September…”

…and some responses:

“You’re going home in a veil of secrecy.”
“Does your leader know you’re here…”

Great stuff. As I said go and have a listen. Very recommended.

Getting to the football for a minute and like New Zealand they were expected to just lie down and take it when they played Brazil, but as we saw they gave a fantastic account of themselves. They were a very disciplined (no surprise there really) and well drilled side who Brazil had a hard time, until later on in the 2nd half, getting a result out of them.

They’ll go into their next game against a very nervous Portugal who drew their opening match and I would wager another scare for pretty boy CRon and his assistants before they finally steal a win.

– I found some music associated with North Korea… no really. You’ll not be surprised to learn that it’s not by a North Korean artist. (But over on Town Full of Losers Pat does have one.)   This track is by The Graham Parsnip Liquidiser Torture Think Tank which can also be found on and this is their great bio:

Hello we are The Graham Parsnip Liquidiser Torture Think Tank Revival – a collective of Brummies. We believe Scrabble should be on the national curriculum, tractors are sexy and dancing like a trout is sensible at weekends.


Tanks are massive things and are hard to describe; they have turrets and tracks they are tanks.

Goldfish: buy them at fairs from a man who doesn’t care about your lost dog

Take them home on the bus.

Knock on your mom and dad’s door…

about four times should suffice

and say, “I’ve got these”, pointing at the fish

“where’s Barney?”

(Barney is the dog).

“I lost him in the park – he chased after a squirrel…So I got you these fish.”

God knows what happens next.

The goldfish might have an inkling though…both of them.

» The Graham Parsnip Liquidiser Torture Think Tank – North Korean World Cup Song

“…Is that all you take away…”

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