The geezer below has carved himself a new career and is now a confirmed thespian…

Screencap from his Funny or Die video Attack Cardio with Vinnie Jones

…and who is happy to retain this hard man image because it keeps getting him work in such box-office-busters/Oscar ignored classics such as Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties, Mean Machine, EuroTrip, The Big Bounce, She’s the Man, Night at the Golden Eagle, Swordfish, and X-Men: The Last Stand.

Jones, Vincent Peter says himself about this:

“Puffy faces, beer bellies – I can’t afford to go that way. For the parts I play I’ve got to look respectable, lean and mean.”

I have to say though… look at those hamster cheeks in that Funny or Die video.

– Looking back on his footballing career and his opinion on that was:

“I’ve always felt that people put me down, and I’d fight back. I played football 15 years, and nobody gave me any credit, and they never will do.”

He still plays – Probably doesn’t get credit or much attention for a team he plays for at his new gaff called the Hollywood All Stars Football Club who a few months back played the Sirens of Soccer in a charidee match:

Taking us back in time now before the bar fightin’ and the Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels breakout role. But after his high tackling and knacker grabbing playing days.

It was a transitional period in which Vinnie tried a few things out. When he was still playing there was that “Soccer Hard Men” video and Jones liked that time in front of the camera so he began to pop up on various TV shows, such as the UK version of Gladiators. Also around then he went into the recording studio and football and music, who as we know should be two strangers that pass in the night. But unfortunately they ran into Vinnie Jones.

A couple of his single releases plus a few choice cuts from his (thankfully) one and only album:

Vinnie Jones - Respect » Vinnie Jones – Crazy Games
» Vinnie Jones – Wooly Bully

» Bad, Bad Leroy Brown (With Jools Holland)

» Vinnie Jones – Shake A Tail Feather

Oh those pearls of wisdom...?

It seems that Mr Jones has a testicle obsession. Not just with grabbing Gazza’s, he also can’t stop talking about them.

Be it with a spoken intro on Joss Stone’s 3rd album:

» Joss Stone/Change – Vinnie Jones Intro

…or when playing a character in the movie Snatch:

» Vinnie Jones – Shrinking Balls (spoken audio)

(Vinnie old mate you need to talk to a psychiatrist.)

Additionally: If you go to the News Page on the Hollywood Allstars FC website you’ll hear a looping dance instrumental with an audio sample of the former hod carrier saying: “Who the fcuk are ya ?” – and he answers his own question with: “The greatest football team in the world.”   At least that’s what I think it says.
Again Vincent old bean….make an appointment.

Ah since it’s Crimbo

He can’t act. He can’t sing. He went a long way.

You want to listen to all the tracks on that album ? Seriously ?

Go on and click on Vinnie’s derrière below to continue:

Touch my arse and I'll kill ya

The Bayern cover versions last week and now this. Yes I do hate you.

Ah I betcha know who and what is coming next.

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