You know I never thought I would find something that would compliment the Klassic Keegan Kollection that I err… collected… Nor discover somebody with a barnet as good as, if not better than King Kev’s curly mop.

When doing the Keegan stuff I found the image below which was taken in the 1970’s. It documents that actual moment when Keegan realised bouffant-wise, he had been beaten.

Hey who does YOUR hair...?

The man on the left there is one Paul Breitner who pulls off the 70’s perm with aplomb. He owns it.
If only Kev had grown a beard as well…

Brietner, according to his Wikipedia entry is one of Germany’s most controversial players. Why ? Not for his footballing exploits but because of his views and what he did off the pitch:

By many of the older and more traditional football fans in Germany he was decried for his “revolutionary” attitude and his tendency for voicing strong opinions on political and social issues. Before the 1982 World Cup (held in Spain) former “leftist” Breitner caused a major uproar in Germany when he accepted an offer by a German cosmetics company to pay him the – what many Germans regarded at that time as a “scandalously high” – sum of 150,000 Deutsche Mark if he shaved off his fluffy full beard, used their fragrance and advertised for the company.

He took money to do an advert… How dare he !

– Hey another little known fact, something I didn’t know until today: In 1988 Breitner was the coach of the German national team – for 17 hours. What happened was that chairman of the DFB announced the appointment but some other suits at the Association kicked up a fuss (because of that advert ?!) and the chairman “reconsidered his decision”.
Now that is sad. What a bunch of wankers. – Although I have to say I don’t know the whole story. If anyone who does could post in the comments…

A couple of years before that a German band called Die Ärzte (The Doctors) did a (short) song in tribute:

Die Arzte

Hätt’ ich den Afro von Paul Breitner,
und das Hirn von Bela B..
Wär’ ich der Freund von Heike Makatsch,
dann wär’ ich echt okay (dann geht’s ihm gut).

Hätt’ ich den Bart von Rudi Schenker,
und die Zähne von Farin U.,
den Ohrring von Hartmut Engler,
dann gehörte ich dazu (dann geht’s ihm gut).

Mit Rod Gonzalez seiner Tolle,
und dem Hut von Lindenberg,
mit einer Stimme wie Arabella,
man, das fänd’ ich echt verstärkt (dann geht’s ihm gut).

Aus mir ist leider nichts geworden.
Ich bin nur ein kleines Licht,
und wenn Du fragst, ob mich das stört.
Nein, das stört mich nicht (das stört ihn nicht).

Das stört ihn nicht. (wdh.)

» Die Arzte – Der Afro Von Paul Breitner

Had I the Afro of Paul Breitner,
and the brain by Bela B..
Wär ‘I am the friend of Heike Makatsch,
then wär ‘ich echt okay (then it’s good).

Had I the beard of Rudi Schenker,
and the teeth of Farin U.,
the earring by Hartmut Engler,
then I belonged to (then it’s good).

With its Hot Rod Gonzalez,
and the hat of Lindenberg,
with a voice like Arabella,
man, that fänd ‘I really strengthened (then it’s good).

For me, unfortunately, become nothing.
I’m just a little light,
and if you ask me if this annoys you.
No, it does not bother me (that does not bother him).

That bothers him not. (Repeat)

This one is taken from an album they did just about hair. No seriously, they did.

I like this band. They are like Die Prinzen and have a tongue-in-cheek look at things.

– Because it is a short song I wanted to find another tune to accompany it and I found this great track:

» Die Arzte – Arschloch
(You don’t need me to translate that !)

– Also take a look at this video they did featuring Lara Croft : Männer sind Schweine (Men Are Pigs).

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4 comments

  1. I never erally got into him.. canny player but wrong team (for long stretches).. Bayern (see Die Toten Hosen)
    That, and the fact that I’m East German and he was playing for “the dark side”.. (envy, maybe?)
    Memories come flashing back tho of a movie he made mid-70s.. some sort of German spaghetti western.. “Potato Fritz” great footballer but as an “actor” mediocre at best.. at least he didn’t sing..

  2. As for the “national coach for 17 hours” thingie – as usual there are conflicting stories of what happened… The way I read it (somewhere?), when Berti McVogts did a Keegan in 1998, Breitner was considered as his successor, to a point where he’d even held talks with the German Football Federation DFB, and been offered the gig. According to Egidius Braun, back then president, the offer was retracted when it emerged that Breitner had disclosed details of a confidential telephone conversation regarding the deal to a third party..
    Breitner’s version differs a bit (natch) – he cited “previous criticism of the DFB and its president” as reason for his swift dismissal…
    Whatever version is true we’ll probably never know..

  3. German band Trio (Dadada) recorded a song titled ‘Los Paul’ (Go Paul) which could very well be reference to Breitner. ‘Los Paul du musst ihm voll in die Eier haun’, meaning as much as: hit him in the balls as hard as you can. A subtle comment on violence on the (German) pitch. Brillaint song, watch the N3-TV-version on YouTube. Don’t know if Trio had a favourite squad or player for that matter…

  4. Wikipedia gives a rose-coloured view of Breitner. He was not merely some lefty student-like footballer, he was an admirer of Chairman Mao. He was also ruthless and resentful towards fellow players. He couldn’t tolerate fellow star players like Sigurvinsson and Rummenigge and he urged the board to get rid of Gerd Muller (behind his back of course). Wikipedia’s description of Breitner as a columnist is very charitable. For the past thirty years he has been a tabloid journalist for the dirtiest (and best sold) tabloid in Germany. He has demolished many former friends and collegues with his pieces. That’s why he’s controversial in Germany. Outstanding player though. And great site, by the way. ‘that actual moment when Keegan realised bouffant-wise, he had been beaten.’ Very funny.

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