The Goalkeepers Union

Singing footballers. Never a good thing. Of this musical footballing group – How about the goalkeepers ? Well, just as bad. If not worse.

The original idea was to gather together all the songs that have something to do with the net minders. Either in reference to, or done by themselves. Also with the idea I was going to create a compilation podcast mixing these songs sung about/by/in reference to, but it became apparent that there are far more of them than reasonable sanity should allow.

Because of this (and one other thing) I’ve decided to give you more than one podcast on the subject of goalkeepers. You lucky people.

– That other thing: Half Man Half Biscuit. It is widely known that they are the Kings of football and music and I have praised them on here many times.

Obviously I wanted to include a few of their songs. I knew of three or four which mention goalkeepers but I consulted @Fredorrarci, my HMHB Oracle to see if there are any more. And there is. Far more. Dammit.

Hard decisions had to be made – with the Half Man Half Biscuit songs as well as some other tunes.
Below then there’s a podcast with songs sung about goalkeepers. After that a break and I give a mention to some tunes that didn’t make the cut.

 To begin: 

Podcast – About The Goalkeepers Union:

  1. Half Man Half Biscuit – Letters Sent
  2. “Keeper you’ve just made a decent save/So why d’you feel the need to rant and rave/ Screaming at defenders/ Makes you look dead stupid /Especially when they haven’t done much wrong/ Please cease the trait”

  3. (audio clip) 1970 World Cup – Gordon Banks save from Pele.
  4. Chris Renshaw And The Keepers – Banksy
  5. (audio clip) Saint & Greavsie – Jimmy Greaves is asked to comment on a series of saves by Hamish McAlpine in a ‘Battle of Britain’ match between Manchester Utd and Dundee United in 1984.
  6. Leo Sayer – Hamish The Goalie
  7. Selected the cover version by Leo Sayer rather than the original by Michael Marra because of the rarity. If you do have the time go an read the story of Hamish in that link.
  8. (audio clip) Bob Wilson on Talksport commenting about the celebrity Arsenal ‘fan’ Piers Morgan.
  9. Half Man Half Biscuit – Bob Wilson, Anchorman
  10. The Lillies – And David Seaman Will Be Very Disappointed By That…
  11. This track was done by “The Lillies”, which included members of Lush and Moose. It is about a goal Gary Lineker scored for Spurs against Arsenal in the 1991 FA Cup Semi-Final. Have a read of the full thing here. I was going to add Nayim from the halfway line as well, but felt that was just rubbing it in. The one he let it from Spurs was worse.
  12. (audio clip) Football Focus – interview with Brad Friedel and Ray Stubbs plays him the HMHB track.
  13. Half Man Half Biscuit – I Went To A Wedding
  14. Not the full track, it begins about halfway through after the Brad Friedel reference.
  15. Nasty Nasty – The Goalie
  16. A bit of dubstep to break things up. And to prove that I’m not obsessed by HMHB
  17. (audio clip) Packie Bonner’s save at the 1990 World Cup – BUT – the audio is take from the film of the book – Roddy Doyle’s The Van (contains swearing).
  18. Margo – Packie Bonner
  19. Margo is Margo O’Donnell – the elder sister of Daniel and the one who gave young Daniel O’Donnell a start in the music business. Margo is the ‘Queen of Irish country music’.
  20. (audio clip) Kasey Keller save – 1998 CONCACEF Gold Cup Semi Final. (This is one of the many saves he made in that Semi where the USA eventually beat Brazil. Here’s another one after which Romario shook his hand after saving.
  21. Barcelona – Kasey Keller
  22. The band (who were also known as Barcelonadc) were so impressed with Keller’s performance that they immediately went out and wrote this song.
  23. (audio clip) Jerzy Dudek’s double save in the 2005 Champions League Final, which kept them in the match and Liverpool eventually won (on pens).
  24. The Trophy Boyz – Du The Dudek
  25. James – Goalie’s Ball
  26. As The (new) Vinyl Villain points out this isn’t actually about football but a commentary on human evolution. But the lyrics on the chorus gave me an excuse to include it.
  27. (audio clip) 2002 World Cup Final – Brazil v Germany, just coming up to halftime and Oliver Kahn makes a stunning save from Ronaldo to keep the Germans in it. (But they eventually lost).
  28. Die Prinzen – Olli Kahn
  29. (audio clip) From a documentary – a feature on Lev Yashin.
  30. Half Man Half Biscuit – 1966 And All That
  31. “If only you’d give me my Lev Yashin poster back…”

» Football and Music Podcast – About The Goalkeepers Union     File: 41.7MB / Length: 45:13secs


As mentioned above there were some tracks that didn’t make it into the above or below pods, but I wanted to give them a mention so that you can see/hear for yourself why they didn’t make the cut.

– The first one rejected is by ‘Gigi McPanos’ – called We Are The Goalkeepers and it is a terrible, terrible song. Done as an American chant/cheerleading anthem and as said, just awful.
– Two songs done about the Belgium-born Bayern Munich goalkeeper Jean-Marie Pfaff which I didn’t include: The first was Jetzt bin ich ein Bayer (Now I’m a Bayer) – about him being a Bayern Munich player. The other was about his national team appearances sung by the B.B.C Singers – Jean-Marie (Not the broadcaster obviously)
– The German keepers: Oli Kahn and Manuel Neuer. There’s a couple of comedy songs done about the both of them. These songs were done in German so the jokes don’t work for those who don’t know the language. Mentioned here because if you do know… The first is about Manuel Neuer and the other one is about Kahn and Neuer.

– I may still have missed some records released about/by goalkeepers. If you know of any not mentioned here leave a comment.

 To our next pod: 

Podcast – By The Goalkeepers Union:

  1. Half Man Half Biscuit – Paradise Lost (You’re The Reason Why)
  2. “Did you play in the Garden of Eden? / Were the goalkeeper’s gloves to you tossed? / ‘Cos it seems to me you’re the reason/ You’re the reason why Paradise Lost.”

  3. Julio Elias – Dale Boca Viva Boca
  4. Julio Elías Musimessi was known as the singing goalkeeper. He played for Newell’s Old Boys, Boca Juniors and the Argentina national team.
  5. Gordon Banks and Friends – We’ll Be Together
  6. Released in 1972 with the man himself lamenting on his career. Banksy isn’t actually singing in this one, but he did in this one:
  7. Gordon Banks and the 1970 England Team – Lovey-Dovey
  8. Before they flew off for the 1970 World Cup, the England team gathered in the studio to record an album of cover versions. No really they did.
  9. John MOuse feat Gareth David Los Campesinos! – I Was A Goalkeeper
  10. Released last year (2014) and there’s a video.
  11. Joël Bats – Même Si Je M’envole (Even if I fly)
  12. Probably one of the most well known singing goalkeepers. But.. He actually did poetry and what you are hearing is one of his poems put to music. More of them here.
  13. Jess Conrad – Why Am I Living ?
  14. An obscure 1960’s crooner ? What’s he doing in here ? For those of you who don’t know (and I can’t believe that you don’t know) – he is the creator and (co)singer on the worst football song ever released. Ever. Before you listen to the pod any further, pause it and go over here. Then you’ll understand.

    Why include him ? If you’ve read that other post you’ll have seen that he is the organiser and president of the charity football team ‘Showbix Soccer XI’. He’s also the goalkeeper for that team. The song is from a movie Rag Doll in which he appeared in 1961.

  15. Radi Radenkovic – Bißchen Glück In Liebe (A bit lucky in love)
  16. Petar ‘Radi’ Radenkovic the Yugoslavian born 1860 Munich goalkeeper released three singles in the mid-1960’s. This is his 2nd release.

  17. Julio Iglesias – La Vida Sigue Igual (Life remains the same)
  18. The former Real Madrid youth team player and the most famous singing goalkeeper out there.
  19. Ray Clemence and Peter Shilton – Side By Side
  20. Ending the pod with possibly the worst song done by two legendary English keepers. The question always asked is why ? Why did they do this ? Is one that is never answered. Oh and the B side isn’t much better.
  21. (audio clip) Joe Hart in training at Man City sings a few lines from Oasis – Wonderwall
  22. » Football and Music Podcast – By The Goalkeepers Union

    – – –

    A bonus pod for those of you who have listened and read this far – All the HMHB songs that reference a goalkeeper:

    Half Man Half Biscuit
    Tracks:Emerging From Gorse/Friday Nights And The Gates Are Low/Bob Wilson, Anchorman/I Went To A Wedding/The Referees Alphabet/All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit/Letters Sent/Paradise Lost (You’re The Reason Why)

    » F&M Podcast – Half Man Half Goalkeeper

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