Two days late (sorry Kirsty)

It is now 10 years since she was robbed of her life.

Along with my new wife, we attended the memorial service at St Martin-In-The-Fields.
In the service various people involved with her life gave a eulogy about their memories of Kirsty.
Also there were some of her songs performed by Holly Johnson and others.
Near the end of the proceedings everybody sang one of her tunes, featured below:

[See post to listen to audio] » Don’t Come The Cowboy With Me, Sonny Jim ! » Lyrics Some boys with warm beds and cold, cold hearts Can make you feel nothing at all They’ll never remember and they’ll never mind If you’re counting the cracks in the wall They’re quick and they’re greedy They never feel guilty They don’t know the meaning of hurt The boots just go back on The socks that had stayed on The next time they see you They treat you like dirt The next time they treat you like dirt Now don’t come the cowboy with me Sonny Jim I know lots of those and you’re not one of them There’s a light in your eyes tells me somebody’s in And you won’t come the cowboy with me Don’t be too rough on my cold, cold heart It’s all I’ve got left to me now I fell out of favour with heaven somewhere And I’m here for the hell of it now Some girls play cowboys And some boys play harder to get But they’re got just the same They smile and say cheese They’re so eager to please But they’ll never remember your name The names and the places all change But don’t come the cowboy with me Sonny Jim I know lots of those and you’re not one of them There’s a light in your eyes tells me somebody’s in And you won’t come the cowboy with me Did somebody tell you I’m lonely as hell? I didn’t expect you to know me so well If I learned a lesson it’s how to bounce back again Sometimes I bounce off the wall And sometimes my head hits the floor So don’t come the cowboy with me Sonny Jim I know lots of those and you’re not one of them There’s a light in your eyes tells me somebody’s in And you won’t come the cowboy Oh don’t come the cowboy with me Sonny Jim I know lots of those and you’re not one of them There’s a light in your eyes tells me somebody’s in And you won’t come the cowboy with me

EXTRA TIME:
A repost of a football related tune:

[See post to listen to audio] » Kirsty MacColl – England 2, Columbia 0 » Lyrics Oh you shouldn’t have kissed me and got me so excited And when you asked me out I really was delighted So we went to a pub in Belsize Park And we cheered on England as the sky grew dark Oh you shouldn’t have kissed me cause you started a fire But then I found out that you’re a serial liar You lied about your status You lied about your life You never mentioned your three children And the fact you have a wife Now it’s England 2 Colombia nil And I know just how those Colombians feel If you hadn’t passed out while I was talking to your friend It could have really ended badly cause you very nearly had me If he hadn’t taken pity on my heart full of desire I might never have found out you’re a serial liar You lied about your status You lied about your life You forgot you have three children You forgot you have a wife Now it’s England 2 Colombia 0 And I know just how those colombians feel It is not in my nature to ever pick the winning team Sometimes I think I’m happy then I remember it’s a dream Now it isn’t in my nature to ever pick a winner I always pick a bastard who would have me for his dinner I can never possess the object of my desire Cause he’s bound to turn out to be a serial liar Ok I didn’t mention my kids, I thought I’d wait a bit But I am free and single and he’s a lying git Cause he lied about his status He lied about his life He forgot he had three children He forgot he had a wife And it’s England 2 Colombia nil I know just how those Colombians feel So I got into a taxi and sobbed all the way home Called my friend up in sao paulo and cried down the phone I played some tragic music and I lay down to die But later I woke and I hadn’t stopped crying You should never have kissed me, you tasted of deceit Your perfume was adultery but I’m not a piece of meat So I’ll be the one that you couldn’t acquire I found out in time you’re a serial liar You lied about your status You lied about your life And I pity your three children And I pity your poor wife Now you can go to hell I’m going to Brazil Still it’s England 2 Colombia nil

Well guess what you lucky people:

Found via the brilliant Italian language music website Orrore a 33 Giri (Horror at 33 rpm), this particular football and Christmas music is something that the football players involved would have certainty liked to have kept buried in the past.
But no. Not when Footie&Music is around and is looking to inflict the annual festive audio pain upon your ears.

And all the best of the season to you too.

The year: 1986. The country: Italy. The occasion: An Xmas charity record.

The participants…Names have to be named. The guilty must be known….

Alessandro Altobelli, Giancarlo Antognoni, Daniel Bertoni, Zbigniew Boniek, Liam Brady, Antonio Cabrini, Bruno Conti, Dan Corneliusson , Dirceu, Edinho, Preben Elkjaer, Giovanni Galli, Francesco Grazian, Ruud Gullit, Júnior, Wim Kieft, Marino Magrin, Daniele Massaro, Michel Platini (who’s mug we see above, he was the lead in all this), Paolo Rossi, Karl Heinz Rummenigge, Glenn Strömberg, Aleksandar Trifunovic.

The coming together of all these football stars as mentioned for a charity.

The Wikipedia entry (in Italian, google translated into English) says:

“Hallelujah is a song pop – Christmas in the English language in Italy for charity (in support of Caritas ) on the occasion of Christmas 1986 and sung by a group of players (accompanied by a chorus of kids who sing the chorus) from the Italian league (plus Ruud Gullit , who had played for the following year), which met for the occasion under the name of Football Stars…

Lyrics & Music :

The words of the song are ideally addressed to a poor child or otherwise in distress, to which it offers its help and their friendship, inviting him to confide in and turn your tears into smiles.

The reference to Christmas is in the chorus , both in the initial part of the track , where the boys of the choir repeated the phrase living the Christmastime , and at the end of the track , where in addition to the formula Alleluja are repeated formulas of greeting Christmas in English ( Merry Christmas ), Spanish ( Feliz Navidad ), French ( Bon Noël )”

» Read the full entry. If you use Google Chrome it will automatically translate the page.

The song was introduced in an episode of an Italian TV programme Fantastico and lucky for us somebody played an old video recording on their telly and videoed it for YouTube:

But it doesn’t end there… We haven’t finished yet. Come back.

Two years later most of these football players – with Gullit in the lead this time (because as we know he likes to hum a tune) gathered together again to do another charity single. This grouping gave themselves the name of… quite egotistically… “The Champions” – the song title is “No More” and luckily for you there really is no more information about this one:

If you do know more about the above song then please mail us.

- And if the sight and sounds of footballers gathering and getting all touchy feely for charity (mate) then have a look at this from the World Cup in 2002.

Last year’s selection included Pete Green, The Sultans of Ping FC and Saint Etienne, which had some links to f&m even if it was just with their name. This next lot and their connection is even more tenuous but I don’t care.

Some actual Crimbo tunes first with a couple of (un)usual suspects.

Starting with The Fall, previously featured here when I commemorated John Peel Day, because the Beeb didn’t. – For your delectation we have Mr Mark E. Smith and co. with a short and sweet seasonal tune.

[See post to listen to audio] » The Fall – Jingle Bell Rock

Another previously featured artist who got a mention in relation to Bristol Rovers, this is from 1944 and is an excellent tune:

[See post to listen to audio] » Leadbelly – On a Christmas Day

This next one I don’t know why … again these are random selections but I can’t remember the reason – apart from it being a decent tune – for it’s inclusion here.
Oh now I remember. It was included on that disappointing Match Of The Day album. Some disappointing selections there. Did they get Lineker to choose the tracks ?

[See post to listen to audio] » MGMT – Time To Pretend

We are nearly at the end of this year, which had a non-footballing summer and now it’s only six months until the world will be watching events from South Africa.
A few weeks ago I posted a related article and the follow was one of the featured artists. This is another well known track from him:

[See post to listen to audio] » Johnny Clegg & Savuka – Cruel, Crazy, Beautiful World

Sadly and probably for the very last time here…. The very epitomy of football and music. Chaz N’ Dave:

[See post to listen to audio] » Chas N’ Dave – I Wish I Could Write A Love Song [See post to listen to audio] » Chas N’ Dave – That’s What I Like

So to those who celebrate... all the best for the season.

It is nine years to the day since some drunken tw@t in a speedboat took Kirsty’s life.

Still sadly missed and this is for her.

<< audio offline >>
» Hypem
» Lyrics

EXTRA TIME: An actual link to footie by Kirsty:

[See post to listen to audio] » Kirsty MacColl – England 2, Columbia 0 » Lyrics Oh you shouldn’t have kissed me and got me so excited And when you asked me out I really was delighted So we went to a pub in Belsize Park And we cheered on England as the sky grew dark Oh you shouldn’t have kissed me cause you started a fire But then I found out that you’re a serial liar You lied about your status You lied about your life You never mentioned your three children And the fact you have a wife Now it’s England 2 Colombia nil And I know just how those Colombians feel If you hadn’t passed out while I was talking to your friend It could have really ended badly cause you very nearly had me If he hadn’t taken pity on my heart full of desire I might never have found out you’re a serial liar You lied about your status You lied about your life You forgot you have three children You forgot you have a wife Now it’s England 2 Colombia 0 And I know just how those colombians feel It is not in my nature to ever pick the winning team Sometimes I think I’m happy then I remember it’s a dream Now it isn’t in my nature to ever pick a winner I always pick a bastard who would have me for his dinner I can never possess the object of my desire Cause he’s bound to turn out to be a serial liar Ok I didn’t mention my kids, I thought I’d wait a bit But I am free and single and he’s a lying git Cause he lied about his status He lied about his life He forgot he had three children He forgot he had a wife And it’s England 2 Colombia nil I know just how those Colombians feel So I got into a taxi and sobbed all the way home Called my friend up in sao paulo and cried down the phone I played some tragic music and I lay down to die But later I woke and I hadn’t stopped crying You should never have kissed me, you tasted of deceit Your perfume was adultery but I’m not a piece of meat So I’ll be the one that you couldn’t acquire I found out in time you’re a serial liar You lied about your status You lied about your life And I pity your three children And I pity your poor wife Now you can go to hell I’m going to Brazil Still it’s England 2 Colombia nil

This former lounge singer just does not know when. to. stop.
He continues to assault our senses when he breaks the third taboo (football and CHRISTMAS music) when he once again roped in that Bavarian club, plus he must have had some good blackmail on their parents because he got a childrens choir involved in this next one:

"That's some nice photoshopping there Lou "

I’m being unkind, not getting into the Crimbo spirit and all that. I think it’s because I’ve been exposed to these footballers doing Xmas music. There should be some sort of ruling against it. I mean the Church always launch a vehement protest against anything that doesn’t fit their thinking, so why don’t we see any demonstations about this ?

Ok that was a weak lead in/excuse to post that pic. On with the music and actually… skip the first one and listen to the next one. Herr Weitz and the Bayern boys almost redeem themselves.

[See post to listen to audio]» White/FC Bayern – Merry Christmas Time

[See post to listen to audio]» Andew White/FC Bayern – Stille Nacht

I’m still not done yet ! One more posting and then we’ll never speak of this again.

To be fair to them the actual team wasn’t involved, which is a good thing.

There are many similarities between the Sunderland one and this one: Both are obviously fan created.
Both songs give a shout out to players from a certain period, and both of them have been vandalised.

Also to protect their own identities, whoever came up with this used some kids to sing the lyrics.

Named and shamed in this song:

Dennis Wise, Robert Di Matteo, Frank Leboeuf , Gianfranco Zola and the boss at the time...Ruud Gullit.

(Just four players and the manager ??)

Firstly the hacked, fluffed up version and then the original:

[See post to listen to audio] » Chelsea FC – Walking In A Chelsea Wonderland [See post to listen to audio] » Walking In A Chelsea Wonderland (original)

To even things out after that – listen to this synth medley of Chrimbo tunes:

[See post to listen to audio] » Unknown – Winter Wonderland

I see you body poppin’ over there…

WELL HEY HELLO THERE ! Let’s celebrate the season with some festive related music !

- With this coming to you via the North Eastern club…no the other one… no, the other other one…

Have they gone ? Good. But I’m still going to post this because everybody needs once again to be warned that even though footie and music is something that should not be – there is another ampersand that latches itself onto these two that is an abomination and should always be shot on site if ever spotted in the wild.

I’m of course talking about football and CHRISTMAS music.

I managed to suppress him after last year’s output, but for this and the next one… Yes I’m sorry to tell you that the pain will continue … I think that the Hulk will be…

You will feel the same because it is. That. Bad.

You’ve been warned now please warn those around you before we continue.

- There’s a curious thing with this bit of music I found. This song has been vandalised.
Somebody has gone in and not only defaced the original but has also downright ruined the entire thing.
If we can find the original culprit charges should be brought.

Now you are asking why should I care so much about something that shouldn’t exist. It is not because they have at first, taken a traditional Xmas tune and added their own lyrics. It’s because some “person” came along later on and well… I can only describe it as something that they’ve taken outside, set fire and then urinated all over it.

The lyrics are about the 12 players of the 1973 FA Cup winning Sunderland team, a team who beat Don Revie’s all conquering Leeds United and was an even bigger upset because the Mackems were a Second Division side at the time.   I bet [Dave Peace's] Cloughy was pissing himself after this result.

So there was no FA Cup song…was there…? I’m sure somebody will pop along to steer me right on that, but there was a Christmas tune done about the ’73 Wembley heroes:

1 Jimmy Montgomery,2 Dick Malone,3 Ron Guthrie,4 Micky Horswill,5 David Watson,6 Richie Pitt,7 Bobby Kerr,8 Billy Hughes,9 Vic Halom,10 Ian Porterfield, 11 Dennis Tueart and the Substitute: 12 David Young.

Ah for the days when they were numbered 1 to 11…

Hold yourself back as you listen to what must be a hacked version, they can’t have released it like this:

[See post to listen to audio] » Red & White Santas – The 12 Days of Sunderland

I can’t believe I did this…but I actually wasted 15 minutes of my life editing the above song to take out those offending inserted bits and here’s something that is close to what I think it originally sounded like:

[See post to listen to audio] » Red & White Santas – 12 Days of Sunderland (Edit)

I know I know. The same awful, awful song posted twice. I really have it in for you.

You need to lower your blood pressure. Have a listen to some other muppets doing the song:

[See post to listen to audio] » John Denver & The Muppets – The 12 Days Of Christmas

» There’s also a video version with a slightly different line up singing the lines.

The balance has been restored.

Has bugger all to do with footie or music but I don’t give a toss. This will become an annual tradition.
The best Christmas song ever. A song that tells how it really is at Crimbo time – staying somewhere and stuck visiting people that well, be glad it is only once a year.

The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl – Fairytale of New York
» Hypem

» Lyrics

Video:

“Happy Christmas your arse”

Before I add these a reminder of some from this time last year:

» Emlyn Hughes and Suzanne Dando – but not in the way you imagine. This one is so sugary and sticky it… well ok maybe like you think.

» Half Man Half Biscuit – the official F&M musical team (because without them… not much of this would have been possible) – All they want is that Dulka Prague away kit.

-> So now here is a new Footie & Musical Xmas section:

» Pete Green, previously featured on here for his Ballad of Phil Jevons has a tribute to the seasonal weather:

[See post to listen to audio] » Pete Green – Everything’s Dead Pretty When It Snows - More info » Lyrics It’s Christmas Eve lunchtime and I, I’m sat in this office all by myself, cos I drew the short straw and have to remain here just for the service of clients who may phone up for insurance today My boss said that’s how business goes but everything’s dead pretty when it snows, everything’s dead pretty when it snows. My mates are preparing to down their bottles of Newcastle Brown and as they continue to sup I picture their faces light up It’s three hours early, but hey there’s no way that I’m gonna stay It’s time for this business to close cos everything’s dead pretty when it snows, everything’s dead pretty when it snows. (festive guitar solo) It snows but I feel warm as toast looking out for the ones I love most and as I walk through the pub door their faces all light up some more It’s Christmas Eve teatime and I, at last I’m remembering why at Christmas time everything glows cos everything’s dead pretty when it snows, everything’s dead pretty when it snows.

» The Sultans of Ping FC – also previously featured for Give Him A Ball (And A Yard Of Grass), but more for “Where’s Me Jumper ?” – have this chewy festive one…

[See post to listen to audio] » Sultans of Ping FC – Xmas Bubblebum Machine

» Saint Etienne. Not featured on here before, but added because of their name… they might have done some footie-related material because of their name… I’ll have to do some research on that… Have this one (a duet with The Charlatans Tim Burgess) which was written by Bob Stanley because he was born on the same day as the saviour. So was me mate Niki – so Happy Birthday to you as well Veggie !

[See post to listen to audio] » Saint Etienne – I Was Born On Christmas Day - Out On Blue Six has an in-depth look at the song. - Don’t forget the video too.

If these are still not enough to fill you up then have a look through the December 2007 F&M Archive – or go over to Twohundredpercent who’s got more footie and music. Some which I’ve posted here already, some I have not.

Extra Time:
No you can’t me me do it. I don’t wanna… Alright then…

- This one is for Santa Working Overtime, a blog which sent a few visitors my way the other day:

[See post to listen to audio]
» The Muppets – One More Sleep ‘Til Christmas

- -

Ok I know it’s clichéd, but after listening to that I am cynical now.

There are visitors to this website from places far and wide. I’m assuming that they are Brit Expats but there are others who according to the stats are googling for other things and like many of do, stumble across a page whilst trying to find another thing. – This next bit is to give you some background before I post the tune.

In the UK there’s this big reality singing show called the X Factor – it’s a bit of a reworked version of Pop Idol (or American Idol or Canadian Idol or [insert your countries name here] Idol…you get the idea) created by – and holding all the rights to*, including the winners soul throughout the known universe – by Simon Cowell.

*unlike on Pop Idol where he was just an employee, with this one he is the major revenue taker.

The eventual winner of Whatever Idol or X Factor is given either a pre-written song to sing, or in the case of this year – one to cover.

After this song is released it is pretty much guaranteed to go to number one in the charts… Well in Britian it will because people here are sad bastards with nothing else better to do than watch this tripe.

The song chosen for the winner was “Hallelujah” – originally written by and performed live by Leonard Cohen, the tune more recently famous for being used in one of the Shrek movies.

Now even though there’s no reference to the festive season or to the baby Jeebus in the lyrics, because of the recent release of XFactor winner Alexandra Burke’s bombastic cover … (and the campaign to get Jeff Buckley’s version to the top spot before hers) … Cohen’s song (who is Jewish) will forever now be associated with Xmas.

Phew.

So with all this in mind…

There was a winner of another TV reality show who had already beaten the Xfactor to the punch. By over a year.

Alistair Griffin was a contestant on the a show in 2003 called “Fame Academy 2″ (no I don’t know what it is either, had too look it up as well) and ever since then he’s had… some success in the charts.

But in March of 2007, Griffin – who is a big ‘Boro fan – wrote some lyrics and put them to the tune of Hallelujah in honour of always loyal* Mark Viduka, (now bench breaking sitting at the Barcodes) – but at the time of composition was pulling a hefty wage at Middlesbrough.

*Three months later he cashed in by fecking off on a free transfer to those up there on the Tyne.

Gareth HorseTeeth Southgate liked the song so much that it was released as a download only single with profits going to his chosen charity.

And because of all the above (the XFactor, etc) I am using that as a very poor excuse to include this one under the seasonal tag. I’m sure this song is now a bitter reminder to any Boro supporters. So Merry Xmas to yer lads !

[See post to listen to audio] » Alistair Griffin – Mark Viduka » Lyrics Heard there was a secret ball Southgate dreamed it would beat them all But you don’t really play the long ball do ya It goes like this the full pitch width Downing’s cross and Boateng’s flick The baffled keeper can’t stop Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Defence was strong but you needed youth Pogatetz and Woodgate too Just to stop Ronaldo running through you Well he tied mad dog to the physio’s chair With Cattermole and Xavier’s hair But from our team they can’t take Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Did my best it wasn’t much Was praying for Yakubu’s touch To find the golden boot of Mark Viduka Then even though it all went wrong Come Saturday the special one Be shouting to John Terry, mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka Mark Viduka