You may have read reports that directly after West Ham’s defeat to Stoke last Saturday, Gianfranco Zola immediately flew back to Sardinia to consider his future. Well that wasn’t the case. The real reason was because Paolo, the bloke who was running his side business for him was sick and Gianfranco went to cover for him.

So if you were in the bar at the airport Holiday Inn in Cagliari on Sunday night, you might have seen “Francesco” (as he likes to call himself when belting out a few numbers to get the crowd warmed up) providing your entertainment.

- I heard that “Francesco” altered the words to one of the songs that he did and some of the punters in the bar that night would have heard him address his current plight. I managed to get hold of a transcript, stuck it through the translator and this is what he (allegedly) sung:
[To the tune of Peal Jam's - 'Alive']

“Gold..he said… have I got a little story for you.
What you thought was your safety, was nothing but a…
While you were sitting home alone in Ealing Broadway,
Your deal was err… it was dying…
Sorry you didn’t see it, but I’m glad we talked…

But I… I still arrived/for training/I still arrived.

Oh Steve Clarke walked slowly, across the training pitch.
He said I’m ready…ready for the fight,
‘I can’t remember any’ (he said), to this very day
except the look…the look of the fans,
now I can see… that Sullivan in the stands,

But I… I’m still here and I… I’m going to strive…

Is something wrong ? I said. Of course there is, Gold replied; You’re still around, I said – Do I deserve to be ? Is that the question ? and if so,…if so… who answers? who answers?

I’m… I’m still in charge,yeah yeah yeah yeah…I’m…. I’m still in charge…”

Thank you, thank you… and now we have 60′s singer turned-70′s Carry On actress Anita Harris with a Hammers classic. Sing along now:

[See post to listen to audio] » Anita Harris – I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles ..who also recorded this Northern Soul classic: [See post to listen to audio] » Anita Harris – The Playground

The talkshow host Jimmy Fallon (previously a cast member on Saturday Night Live and then afterwards a series of unfunny films including the pIsspoor Hollywood remake/change it into baseball movie Fever Pitch) asks Russell Brand about football and gets him to do some West Ham songs:

» First posted by Rob at We Don't Know Football

- Starting with England who’s fan (may or may not) will try to break the internets this coming Saturday with the away match against the Ukraine, then fall asleep in front of the telly the following Wednesday evening whilst Belarus slip one past the dozing defence.

England have already put qualification to bed last month but there will still be people who’ll keep one eye on these matches – especially the tabloid headline writers who will rub their hands at even the slightest slip up.

As to the music… because of the recent speculation, which even the Beeb saw the smoke surrounding a bloke who I think was considered for the England job at one point wasn’t he…

(I know the original song wasn’t about him, but there is a West Ham connection.)

This one was one of the many, many releases from 2006 to cash in on the World Cup.
I’m thinking that next year that number will be doubled.

The idea started off by Virgin Radio’s Christian O’Connell with profits from the single going to charity.
Recorded by Jimmy Pursey, it featured Blur’s Graham Coxon on guitar and Rio Ferdinand, John Terry, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and Wayne Rooney are mentioned in the song. It reached number 10 in the charts on the first week of release. » More info

[See post to listen to audio] » Sham 69 & The Special Assembly – Hurry Up England

[See post to listen to audio] » Sham 69 – Hurry Up Harry

Sadly it wasn’t left on the street and some displayed their idiocracy inside the ground:

We should try to find out the name of this bloater so we can name and shame him. I’m sure he’s been banned for life but the world need to know he is so that we can point and laugh.

A spokesman for Millwall was shocked, SHOCKED ! that charges brought against them.
They are blaming the fact that their ticket allocation was small thus many ticketless fans turned up. But don’t you get it mister Millwall spokesman – these so called “fans” were not interested in going into the match, all they wanted to do was show the rest of us how stupid they all are.

Some of it did spill inside but none of the Millwall supporters actually stepped onto the pitch. They did however do their share of damage by ripping up some seats and wrecking the bogs.

Both clubs are moaning about the charges but until there is a way of identifying every individual involved (I.D card ? Pah ! As I said the fighting was outside the ground and they not interested in watching the match) and then banning them, it will mean that every fan will have to suffer.

Talking of which I spotted this via the Beeb, originally reported on the scummy Sun about one bloke who will suffer :

Burnley fan Jason Taylor is being forced to travel 50 miles to watch his team play Blackburn next month, despite living round the corner from Rovers’ Ewood Park ground. Clarets fans have been told that they must report to Turf Moor four hours before kick-off and travel the 13 miles to Blackburn by coach. After the game, the transport then returns them to Turf Moor. The move comes in the wake of recent crowd trouble at the derby game between West Ham and Millwall at Upton Park.

Stupidity I know, but until people learn (they never will) this sort of thing is going to keep happening.

I’ll get off me soapbox now.

[See post to listen to audio] » Libertines – Campaign Of Hate

[See post to listen to audio] » Sultans Of Ping – Football Hooligan (Live)
Actually it mentions Chelsea

- or -

[See post to listen to audio] » Beautiful South – Hooligans Don’t Fall In Love

With this next one, in which the producer Adrian Sherwood was involved, the project looks at football at the time and everything surrounding it – including the trouble on the terraces and outside the grounds:

I’ll pull some quotes from kiwimick who posted this commentary on Rate Your Music and gives an excellent summary on the whole thing:

…The Barmy Army are effectively the loose collective otherwise known as Tackhead and friends, and here they combine a couple of their shared passions – sampling and football – to create a body work unlike anything else heard before or since. It won’t appeal to all, but it does have some curiosity value, and will be well worth a listen for anyone who has previously enjoyed Tackhead, Little Axe, Dub Syndicate, Mark Stewart, or indeed fans of experimental dub or eclectic lightweight cut-and-paste style Hip-Hop.

When this was initially released circa 1989 in the immediate aftermath of the Heysel/Bradford/Hillsborough tragedies, English football was at its lowest ebb for several generations, and the game was awash with violent so called “fans”… …Attendances were low, safety concerns high, and the family-friendly all-seater environment we see today was still some way off in the future…

Instead of using samples some lines from any songs, they used the chants/songs sung by the crowds at some football matches. Most notably was recordings from West Ham and Celtic games, which I’ll mention more about below.

- Actually I’ll add another quote from the excellent and very detailed site On-U Sound In The Area which is an unofficial tribute to the On-U Sound record label. Click to read more

So to the songs then and I’m going to post some selected tracks from the album and add some short notes (taken from the Barmy Army biography page) beneath each one with a bit of background:

Starting with the tracks which were released on a 12″ single *

* I don’t have the full 12 inch version – this is the 4 min one [See post to listen to audio] » Barmy Army – Sharp As A Needle [See post to listen to audio] » Sharp As A Needle dub [See post to listen to audio] » England 2 Yugoslavia 0 -> Read the notes “Abide With Me” was probably taken from the 1989 FA Cup Final. “You’ll Never Walk Alone” sample is from Celtic’s Parkhead, when Liverpool played their first match after Hillsborough in April 1989. The man on the keyboards was Ministry’s Al Jourgensen That’s Kenny Daglish on the cover of the single – you can find more images here.

One about Alan Devonshire, who was a West Ham legend:

[See post to listen to audio] » Barmy Army – Devo -> Read the notes Another of the album’s rhythms was actually used by Mark Stewart when “Devo” surfaced as “These Things Happen” on the artist’s Mute album Metatron (ON-U LP51) : [See post to listen to audio] » Mark Stewart – These Things Happen

Because of the increase in trouble around the grounds, the Tories were trying to introduce a compulsory national ID card specifically aimed at the time at football fans. Neil Kinnock and the Labour party were against it, [column 150] but hey – 20 years later – guess what.

[See post to listen to audio] » Barmy Army – Civil Liberty

Finally to cap this off – I may post some more in the future, but for now here’s a couple of traditional terrace songs dubbed up by Sherwood/Clail/Tackhead and co:

[See post to listen to audio]
» Barmy Army – Blue Moon
[See post to listen to audio]
» Barmy Army – Que Sera Sera

They’ve still got the audio posted on their site.

» Russell Brand & Noel Gallagher on Talksport Radio
(1 Hour 43 mins show)

It was very entertaining and I hope they will have another crack at it.

Hopefully the next time that Brand fellow will get his lackey’s to do some research beforehand and at least google to find some decent football and music to play on the show.

Ah and I believe I know where to find some…

I remember seeing Bobby Zamora playing – and scoring often – at Brighton. I thought at the time that he was a good future prospect.

He went there at first on loan from Bristol Rovers and in his 6 games he scored 6 goals. After this Brighton were quick to sign him permanently. Zamora spent a further three seasons with them and in his 186 appearances he scored 70 goals.

This sort of form obviously gets you noticed by the bigger clubs and one came knocking in the form of Glenn Hoddle and Spurs, but the big move wasn’t a good one for Bobby. He failed to settle and in January 2004 he was sold to West Ham, a club which he is a lifelong fan.

This move seemed to be the one. He spent four years there and in 2006 with the future looking bright Bobby signed an extended contract with the Hammers, keeping him there until 2011.
He said at the time:

“I’m delighted to have extended my contract and I’m now looking forward to spending my long-term future at Upton Park. I’ve been here for almost three years now, and there is really no other place I would rather be. This is my club and wearing a claret and blue shirt is all I have ever wanted to do.”

Everything and everybody was happy, including one musical fan who recorded a re-worded classic song, first sung about him by some Brighton fans a few years before…

[See post to listen to audio] » Mark Adams – That’s Zamora

But sadly these happy moments wouldn’t last. In December of 2008 there was speculation linking him to a move to Fulham. At the time Curbs (the then manager) said that he wouldn’t sell. Seven months later. He was gone.

Extra Time: The original:

[See post to listen to audio]
» Dean Martin – That’s Amore

Barack Obama is a West Ham fan.

Via the Torygraph:

“…As the 46-year-old’s campaign to become America’s first black president moves into overdrive, Obama has declared his fondness for the Claret and Blues quarter of east London.

According to reports, the US senator has been a fan of the Hammers ever since a trip to England five years ago and watches Premier League games whenever his busy schedule allows…”

[See post to listen to audio]
» John Mayer – Waiting For The World To Change
{Edit} Another one:
[See post to listen to audio]
» Jesus Jones – Right Here, Right Now

I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, two pound a pair, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, What a load of old Pony, pukka, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m forever blowing bubbles, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, our Arthur, her indoors, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney. I was going for a ruby down the frog in the jar when the bone went. Cor blimey if it weren’t the trouble. I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney,She’d had her barnet done and bought a new tit for tat now her plates were giving her jib. I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney, I’m a Cockney Geezer.

» The 1975 West Ham FA Cup Final Squad – I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles

» I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles (singalong version)

» The Mighty Boosh – The Hitcher

I know he wasn’t knighted when he was alive, but that was the fault of the powers that be who only realised their mistake after his passing and made up for it by giving a gong to Geoff Hurst. So why not award him a knighthood posthumously eh ?

Today though it is a look at a bit of trouble for Sir Bobby (which I’ll call him from here on it because as I said he deserved it) when just before the ’70 World Cup he was accused of nicking a bit of jewellery.

A quick reminder of the event via Wikipedia:

“1970 was a bittersweet, mixed and eventful one for Moore. He was again named as captain for the 1970 World Cup but there was heavy disruption to preparations when an attempt was made to implicate Moore in the theft of a bracelet from a jeweller in Bogotá, Colombia, where England were involved in a warm-up game. A young assistant had claimed that Moore had removed the bracelet from the hotel shop without paying for it. There was no doubt that Moore was in the shop – he had gone in with Bobby Charlton to look for a gift for Charlton’s wife, Norma – the accusation was not proved. Moore was arrested and then released, he then travelled with the England team to play another match against Ecuador in Quito. He played, winning his 80th cap, and England were 2-0 victors, but when the team plane stopped back in Colombia on the return to Mexico, Moore was detained and placed under four days of house arrest. Diplomatic pressure, plus the obvious weakness of the evidence, eventually saw the case dropped entirely, and an exonerated Moore returned to Mexico to rejoin the squad and prepare for the World Cup.”

As the article mentions was this a bit of trickery to put Sir Bobby off his game ?
Either way it didn’t work and he was cleared and as it says on this BBC – On This Day page, there were documents released in 2001 and 2003 in which the head of the Colombian police believed Moore was innocent and that the prime suspect was in fact an unnamed woman who had touted the bracelet to members of the Colombian underworld.

They never found the bracelet and never caught the woman.

This Bobby Moore website has a page with collected articles concerning the event.

A band previously mentioned on here, which I discovered thanks to an email from Al, sang about the incident:

» Serious Drinking – Bobby Moore Was Innocent (Peel Session)

and the album version…

» Serious Drinking – 12XU/Bobby Moore Was Innocent