The bookies gave some half decent odds because of the Premiership side they were facing… but in the end it didn’t happen and now it’s back to the bread & butter and the immediate challenge to make sure that Tranmere Rovers are still in the same division the next time this cup opportunity comes calling.

Best of luck to everyone there, but especially to Les Parry, who has been given the managerial hot seat until the end of the season and also has the impossible task of keeping Tranmere up with very, very little resources to hand.

Don’t say it’ll never happen though. Once again I have to mention: It is football and… yeah.

I purposely waited until after the match had played so I could post these pre-selected tunes.

It wasn’t because I wanted them to lose or anything, I always like to see a top side being knocked out of the cup (apart from mine obviously). I love the FA Cup and I know that for the fans of the lower division teams this is a highlight of the season, a chance of a big scalp. As well as being a financial boost to the clubs.

A while ago I made a suggestion to Fredorrarci and now I feel that I am treading on his toes by featuring any more, so this will be the last time that they will be mentioned on here.

In the future if you want to get your HMHB fix get yourself over to Sport Is A TV Show

[See post to listen to audio] » HMHB – Reasons To Be Miserable (Part Ten) [See post to listen to audio] » HMHB – No Regrets* *Featuring Margi Clarke – see the video here.

…and finally…
Don’t forget to visit The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Update: They managed a draw and live to fight another day.

Another Update: Third round draw has been made and if they can get through it is home to Wolves next.

Because it is Tranmere an obvious choice for the music…those Footie & Music stalwarts HMHB.

(I’m sure that Nigel Blackwell & co. will have enough material for a double album after this season)

- For those of you who haven’t been following the fortunes of the Prenton Park outfit…

Last year the Rovers were thereabouts near or in the top 6 all season. But after a 1-1 draw on the final day they missed out on the playoff places. To build on this progress the suits decided, even after the manager Ronnie Moore had steered them to the upper reaches of League One for the past two years, that he should be sacked.

In an official statement, the club said: “Attendances have dropped by more than 19 per cent during the last three years and the club felt that now is the right time to move forward in a new direction.”

That direction was the opposite one Moore had taken them.

10 days after Ronnie Moore got his cards…actually I was going to say that it was the club who announced his appointment but it wasn’t. It was John Barnes himself (obviously relieved at finding gainful employment again) who broke the news.

How many times have we seen this “former great footballer/little to no coaching experience/given the managers job” formula ? And how many times has it failed ? Barnsey added to this certain doom scenario by selecting his old mate Jason McAteer (coaching/management experience….err…none) as his number two.

Now to give the Anfield and England rapper his dues, when he was at Celtic ten years previously his record was P29 W19 L8 D2, but it was that Inver Cali Thistle headline which pushed the Celtic board to him him the push.

Needless to say that this Tranmere gamble failed and Barnes (with McAteer) was sacked after their Johnstone’s Paint Trophy defeat at Bury.

The club’s Physio Les Parry was installed as a temporary Caretaker Manager and is still there. Parry has said that he’s not interested in the job permanently. Under his current tutelage they’ve lost more than they’ve won and Tranmere are bottom of the table, so it would have been doubtful that he would have been offered. But he is in charge for their FA Cup 2nd Round Proper tie against Aldershot and if it isn’t anything but a win come five o’clock, it will mean the exit door for him too.

BUT BEFORE ALL OF THAT…

[See post to listen to audio] » HMHB – Friday Night And The Gates Are Low [See post to listen to audio] » HMHB – Dead Men Don’t Need Season Tickets (Peel Session)

A bonus Peel Session track – HMHB covered an old song that is associated with Bristol Rovers.
This one includes an introduction by the great man himself.

[See post to listen to audio] » HMHB – Goodnight Irene (Peel Session)

» Further reading:
- Mike Whalley: I know we can’t go wrong
- On This Football Day: February 8 – Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious

Here’s a reminder from Half Man Half Biscuit with the Referee’s Alphabet:

[See post to listen to audio]
» Half Man Half Biscuit – The Referee’s Alphabet

Visual alphabet:

» Link to video

EXTRA TIME:

A ditty about a wedding reception in which a certain Aston Villa ‘keeper was a fellow attendee:

[See post to listen to audio] » HMHB – I Went To A Wedding “…So you’re Brad Friedel ? I’m mildly impressed…”

* The idea for this entry was blatantly nicked from a couple / of posts originally done by Fredorrarci who can be found tweeting the night away and also at Sport Is A TV Show.

EXTRA EXTRA TIME:

Ah go on then, have a repost:

[See post to listen to audio] » HMHB – I Was A Teenage Armchair Honved Fan

* Alternative post titles: “Do You Know What You Are Doing ?” / You Don’t Know What You’re Doing.

Looking like he could step in for any member of Duran Duran at the time. Pat was the leader of the footie playing floppy fringes as seen to the right there (click to view closer up) and via these fine examples – this one on Flickr – and this one on the Chelsea FC site.

But the wee winger (he is 5’6 without his Cuban heels) wasn’t your typical footballer. Nevin is one for the arts, music and literature. It says in Wikipedia:

“He has an arts degree from Glasgow Caledonian University. He was noted during his playing days for being somewhat different from the stereotypical footballer, especially through his interest in literature and the arts, and in his musical tastes, preferring The Fall and Joy Division to Phil Collins or Lionel Richie. As such, he was interviewed by the NME.”

Even though he played at the other side of Stanley Park, he hung out with John Peel too.

I’m surprised, especially looking at that Chelsea FC picture (go on have a look, it will popup in a window) that it wasn’t used on an album or as a single cover. The photo is crying to be used.

I’m also surprised that Tranmere’s biggest supporters – Half Man Half Biscuit, who’ve been featured on F&M numerous times didn’t do a song about him.

(Tranmere Rovers was the next stop after his glory days at Chelsea and then Everton).

But some label mates of theirs did do something about him…

This band called themselves The Tractors and were on Probe Plus Records at the same time as HMHB.

Sadly that is all there is to know on them. There is zero other information out there. Choosing to name your band after a farming machine makes it difficult when googling for them. If any reader out there can expand on this with some history then leave a comment.

The Tractors recorded a spoof of the HMHB song Dickie Davis Eyes and used Nevin’s mesmerising peepers as their subject:

EDIT: Last minute update – I found someone selling a Tractors 12″ single on ebay. It has 4 tracks including this one:

[See post to listen to audio] » The Tractors – Pat Nevin’s Eyes

With thanks to the Reverend Jim of the Plymouth Offside website for this submission.

- If you have any songs done about a particular footballer not posted here yet, then please contact us.

This team is one you’ve never seen play but everybody knows their name and they especially know what their away shirt looks like:

- A full colour image of the top here. It’s not that bad actually. I’d wear one.

Half Man Half Biscuit are massive Tranmere Rovers fans. Wikipedia says:
“The band played live more and more infrequently, preferring one-off gigs to tours, driving home each night to sleep in their own beds and arranging concerts to coincide with Tranmere Rovers’ away fixtures, a football team supported by all the members of the band. Half Man Half Biscuit famously turned down the chance to appear on seminal 80s rock show The Tube, as Tranmere were playing that night, even though Channel Four offered to fly them by helicopter to the game following their take in the studio.”

Who Ate All The Pies has this to say about the band and this track :

“In 1986, cult Birkenhead punk-folk band Half Man Half Biscuit – one of John Peel’s favourite all-time groups – released their infamous debut single, ‘The Trumpton Riots’. On the B-side was the almost-as-infamous track, ‘All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague away kit’, a wonderful study of adolescent rivalry and table football.”

[See post to listen to audio]
» Half Man Half Biscuit – All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit (Peel Session)

Sample lyrics: "And he'd managed to get hold of a Dukla Prague away kit /'cause his uncle owned a sports shop and he'd kept it to one side /And after only five minutes you'd be down to ten men /'cause he'd sent off your right back for taking the base from under his left winger.."

Also – The band performing the song on the Old Grey Whistle Test

BONUS TRACK »

HMHB went back to the Chrimbo theme with this track from their Trouble Over Bridgewater album, released in 2000. A purposely clichéd tune which will make you sing along (another cliché) along with with clichéd lyrics and the topper to all this – some children singing the chorus. You can’t help yourself and you will be humming it after listening:

[See post to listen to audio]
Half Man Half Biscuit – It’s Clichéd to Be Cynical at Christmas

As mentioned the band are big footie fans and I’ve got more footie-related titled songs done by them which I’ll post another time.