Football and Music

In the Championship (old 2nd Division) they’ve managed to fix it so that it all comes down to the last game of the season to decide things.

I’m not complaining, this is a rare thing and makes for exciting viewing.

Apart from the title decider and play-off places, the fiercer competition to avoid a certain position is actually at the other end of the table where a couple of former “big” clubs are circling the drain.

Vying to avoid the one remaining relegation position are Blackpool, Coventry, Sheffield Wednesday, Leicester and Southampton.

Things looking even more doomed for fans of both these teams next season with (rumoured) news that if Leicester drop they will replace manager Ian Holloway with Iain Dowie.

Stop laughing there Saints fans.
Recently their previous chairman Rupert Lowe has gained power back at the club and if they survive this current financial crisis… and relegation would make them immediately call in the receivers… but if they do somehow scrape out of it there’s a whisper going around that Lowe would bring the nightmare that is the Hoddle out of the wilderness…

Dark times indeed.

So for these reasons and more, not just because of the above dire consequences if one of these two do go, this coming Sunday will be edge of the seat stuff.

As it stands Southampton are at home but are facing a Sheffield United side that’s been on a run (won their last 4) and a win would put them into a playoff spot. Meanwhile Leicester go away to play Stoke City who are level on points with West Brom for the Championship title.

Musically looking at the situation with these two and I have to say after listening to the following “efforts” that they both deserve to go down.

I usually try not to form or post my opinion about the songs, I leave that up to you, but in this case I have to speak out.

The performers on these songs chose to hide their identities and used a pseudonym and I can understand why.

In the first one done by “The Valley Slags” and is an ode to Matt Le Tissier… BUT - when you hear the first line you will wonder if they are actually singing about one in the same person:

» The Valley Slags - Legend Of The Saint

“Tall and gangly…”   Really…?

Next is a really dreadful effort about Leicester City. It’s a short song which barely makes it to the 1 minute 40 mark:

» Phil Bert and the Foxes - This Is The Season For Us

If the relegation issue was to be decided on these tracks I would say that Leicester are fcuked.

I can understand Wrighty’s sentiments about not wanting to sit on the sofa next to Hansen and Shearer anymore. I mean come on, not exactly sparkling company are they. But with the Beeb losing nearly every televisual rights to any decent footballing matches, (apart from the Jewson Home Counties under 14’s Sunday League), Ian Wright Wright Wright wasn’t going to get to see Gary’s smirking face up close ever again because he only sat in on Auntie’s coverage of the England matches and since we are sitting this one out…

But let us not forget that the original jug eared one was a decent footie player in his day.

In his time at Leicester he was constantly the top league scorer. In 194 appearance for the club Lineker bagged 95 goals and helped to get them promoted to the old First Division and afterwards got sold to…

No not yet. Later..

Everton. Where in that one season he scored 40 in 52 games and again become the leagues top scorer. Then he went into the shop window that was the 1986 World Cup where yet again he became the top scorer of the tournament.

Everton cashed in on him and after the finals was sold to El Tel’s Barcelona where he partnered Sparky Hughes up front. Eventually Lineker followed Venables to his next job at Spurs where when the year ended in 1 and despite Gazza’s antics, they won the FA Cup.

Finally he went off into semi-retirement and was a proto-Beckham where he explored and was introduced into new territories playing for Grampus 8 in Japan. Sadly it was an injury plagued season which led to his decision to hang up his boots before eventually finding the anchors chair and lulling us all to sleep on a late Saturday’s evening.

Here endeth the history of Leicester’s favourite son™

Now to the music and hat-trick of songs. Two of them from studio created groups and one with a tenuous connection since he played in that league:

» Romaine - Gary Lineker : A Young Girls Dream » The Rainbow Choir - The J-League Freakout » Her - Ooh Gary Gary

Yesterday we had three ingredients that should never meet. Today I’m going to throw in another one which again you would usually never associate with some of the others.

Today it is: Football. Music. Christmas and… Elvis.

How the hell this came about I don’t know. No joy in a search for the truth. This is another one like Dubya’s drunk driving conviction, was buried in the hope that nobody would uncover again.

Yesterday’s offerings were a bit bad, these ones are very sad.

Harry Roden (for we must name names here. The guilty must be exposed) wherever you are. I’m sure you are still cursing this career (if you had one) killer.

Harry is a barcodes fan and sings, in an Elvis style, about Santa wearing red and white when in his opinion he should be in black and white:

» Harry Roden - Santa Is A Geordie

Next up is a song about a journeyman and well known footie player, who might have been also known as a legendary footballer if it wasn’t for his legendary drinking and womanizing. This one isn’t a Chrimbo one but is a footie/musical/Elvis one.

Frank Worthington has somehow managed to survive where Bestie’s liver didn’t and is still doing the rounds as an after-dinner speaker. A snippet from Who At All The Pies on his colourful past:

“Frankie has the kind of history where myth and fact are blurred… but it doesn’t really matter. One brilliant tale I overheard once involved Frank playing for the England U23s… the squad flew to Russia, and the players trudged off the plane one-by-one in their royal blue England blazers… but without Worthington who delayed his departure… probably to get a last gin in, and to chat up the stewardess… then, like his hero, Elvis, he swaggered down the steps dressed in full cowboy attire, complete with ten gallon stetson and tassles. The Russian public didn’t know what to make of such decadence, and Frank promptly pissed off to the bar.”

This track was recorded when he was at Leicester and done by some person(s) unknown under the pseudomyn of “The Joe Jordanaires”. Why they chose this name I don’t know. I’ve looked at their careers and they never crossed paths. I think they just used Joe Jordan’s name because it was an attempt at a pun on the real group.

» The Joe Jordanaires - Frank Worthington