In most instances this is a bad thing… Because as you know if all the focus in on the chairman, it means trouble for the clubs.

This is not always the case, there are some club owners/major shareholders out there who’d rather not be in the spotlight, such as Randy Learner at Villa, Ellis Short at Sunderland and Stan Kroenke at Arsenal.

…And at the other end there are those who love the spotlight, such as Watford’s former chairman, now life president Elton John:

There are others who also can’t resist the glare of the lights, such as Simon Jordan formerly of Crystal Palace and Karren Brady at West Ham – and The Apprentice.

I could go on and expand on the above mentioned names but life’s too short for that…

Then there are some, in fact there are many who could be contestants in a very unfunny TV reality show.
At least in their own heads. These people when they first arrive, they always seem to be welcomed by the fans as the saviour of their club. But then things turn ugly…

Once again I could expand on what is a long list of chief execs who eventually became a liability but as I said, life is too short and anyway… 1) You are not here for that – and 2) the fine chaps over at cover this subject with aplomb, as Ron Manager might say.

But what I want to do is a mini-feature on two particular “characters” who always gained strong opinion from every quarter once their names are mentioned.

The first one passed away a number a years ago, but his reputation and antics are still remembered by all.

Stan Flashman

I can see a few of you nodding there. Ah yes. Fat Stan.

There was a period in the very late 80′s/early 90′s when Barnet F.C, with their manager Barry Fry and especially their own, the ex-ticket tout (could get you tickets for anything. Garden Party with the Queen ? No problem son) Flashman making the non-league and then league headlines.

Sometimes all the planets align and for Barnet in 1990 they gained promotion from the Conference to the Football League, but it wasn’t without some bumps along the way. There was a stormy relationship between Barry Fry and the owner, with Flashman repeatedly sacking Fry and then reinstating him soon after.

Fry recalls in his time at Barnet:

…”Actually, Stan could be the most generous man in the world one minute, but he was pure evil the next. He’d threaten to have you encased in a motorway bridge, things like that.” Fry chuckles. “I had nine amazing years with Stan, on the field and off. Together, we got Barnet into the Football League and it was an adventure from day one. Our first game against Crewe ended 7-4… and we got the four. Then we played Brentford and it ended 5-5.

“But Stan was a real bad loser. He’d threaten to break players’ legs if he didn’t think they’d played well. We had one lad, Harry Willis, and Stan came into the dressing-room once and said ‘Willis, you were hopeless today, you’ll never play for Barnet again.’ I said ‘yes he will, Stan, he’s playing against Watford in the Herts Senior Cup on Friday.’ And Stan said, ‘if you turn up on Friday, Willis, I’ll break your legs with a cricket bat.’ …”

But then things started to go wrong. Very wrong. There were financial irregularities at the club, the one that Flashman has saved from administration in 1985, but then in 1992 the money was gone. Players were not getting paid, the Inland Revenue wanted to take a look at the books…

Below is a YouTube playlist of The London Programme, this episode aired in April 1993 looked at the club and their plight. In the first minute of each clip the very rotund figure of Flashman is seen. In Part 1 he pulls up in his car and threatens a camera crew. In Part 2 Barry Fry is seen telling the players that the cheques that have bounced, Stan will come and pay them in cash after their match. Then in Part 3 Flashman resigns because of ill health and says he has sold the debt ridden club.

Our next subject is still looming VERY large on the horizon…

Ken Bates

Ah now your eyes narrow at the mention of that name.

Currently he’s the chairman of Leeds United as well as being co-owner, but there’s questions as to who co-owns it and where are these companies or individuals. Either the Channel Islands or the other tax haven in the Caymen Islands and a shell company…?

Things are always murky when Master Bates is involved and David Conn of the Guardian has done some excellent investigations which got them banned from Elland Road because of his coverage.

This is not the first time either that questions have been raised over the ownership of a club in which Bates has been involved. It happened previously 2005 with Chelsea and that was never really resolved.

As to Chelsea…

It was pretty much nearly the same story as Stan Flashman and Barnet at the beginning. The club were in serious financial trouble and were threatened with relegation to the Third Division.

Bates then came in and bought the club for a nominal sum of £1. After that he fought a long legal battle to gain the freehold of Stamford Bridge which he eventually won because the property developer who held a portion of that freehold went bankrupt after a mark crash. Because of this he was able to do a deal with the banks and get himself a bargain. Bates then reunited the freehold to the club.

In the years that Bates spent at Chelsea he attracted the headlines on many occasions, mostly because of his notes in the Chelsea programmes and disparaging remarks about some managers (including his own), players (including his own) and fans – mostly his own. What’s the word you use when describing Bates… ah that’s it. Gobshite.

He didn’t reserve it just to those groups either. He had battles within his own boardroom too:

During the 1990s, he was involved in a bitter dispute with Chelsea benefactor and vice-chairman, Matthew Harding, over the club’s future direction, which led to Harding being banned from the Chelsea boardroom. The dispute was ultimately only ended by Harding’s death in a helicopter crash in October 1996. Bates sparked further controversy by later describing Harding as an “evil man” the following year

But after this period of changes and success at Chelsea the threat of debt loomed once again over the club, but in 2003 he sold the club to Roman Abramovich, for a sum of £140million and made a £17million profit for himself.

As mentioned above Bates was investigated by the FSA for allegedly owning undeclared shares in Chelsea Village plc, but the case was eventually dropped.

Always end on a song…

Now there’s a couple of related Ken Bates and Chelsea songs, both will make you laugh/angry depending on how you view things. Hey don’t shoot me for these, I’m only the piano player.

The first one is from Mr Martini and after hearing… ah it’s got to be tongue in cheek.
Listen to the lyrics and especially the line: "Ken Bates I love you/won't you/answer my prayer. Next season just call me/and I'll be there..."
Plus there’s something about a stone being thrown by Ian Hutchinson…

This other track… from 1996, during Bates reign of terror and was done by a Canadian fan who dedicated the song to Chelsea.

Ah I really don’t want to post this… tell you what it will be here for a VERY LIMITED time… Uh I can’t fecking stand this bloke…

I have to go and clean myself now…

As I said don’t blame me. Just reporting the facts.

Starting with what is possibly the best musical footballing song there is…

This track set the standard for how an f&m tune should be – other bands please take note.

The band is The Hitchers who hail from Limerick (not to be confused with a recently formed band based in Teeside who have taken the same name). The original Hitchers had the honour of recording a Peel Session in 1997 and this particular track made it onto the Festive Fifty in that same year.

The subject was Gordon Strachan and his time at Leeds United, specifically about one match. The opposition isn’t mentioned and the actual game may not have even taken place. It may be more artist licence taken by the writer of the song, the drummer of the band – one Niall Quinn.
Yes he’s probably heard that a thousand times. Let’s continue shall we ?

A few years ago the music fanzine No Pictures interviewed Mr Quinn and asked him about the track:

No Pictures: Have you ever met Gordon Strachan?
Niall Quinn: No, but we’ve come very close on a couple of occasions. He was fifty feet away from us at the Phoenix Festival but behind a security barrier.

NP: Do you know whether he has heard the song?
NQ: He has and apparently quite likes it. I’ve spoken to him a few times on the phone.

NP: Peel played it long before it was released. How’d he get hold of it?
NQ: John Peel had a copy of the “..Fun & Games..” LP because it was released in Ireland 3 months before it came out in the UK.

NP: When did you write that song?
NQ: I originally wrote it in 1992 and it sounded like a dodgy ripoff of Teenage Fanclub’s “Starsign”. So a year or two later when he retired I got all melancholic and re-wrote it. The team-mates mentioned aren’t the championship winning side. They’d have played briefly together Sept/Oct 93 when Leeds were about 14th in the league.

» Read the full interview here.

Have a listen/download of the song and then please buy some of their products to the right:

[See post to listen to audio] » The Hitchers – Strachan

Track number two comes from Alistair Griffin, who appeared on the BBC’s Fame Academy a few years ago. His (cheeky) ode to a player comes in the form of Mark Viduka who was rolling around the pitch for Middlesboro at the time.

Griffin was known for performing comedy versions of some songs at his concerts and when he was singing at a charity event at Boro’s Riverside Stadium…

This via Wikipedia:

… After his performance of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, he asked the audience if they would like to hear an alternative version, based on Cohen’s song, but with new words dedicated to the Boro hero at that time, Australian striker Mark Viduka. Keeping faithfully to Cohen’s melody, Griffin’s almost plaintive vocals are sung to a simple acoustic backing, forming a contrast to the altered lyrics which reference the particular skills of Viduka and several other popular players in the team, as well as some of their opponents, in a sharply observed and witty commentary.

After hearing the tongue-in-cheek tribute, Middlesbrough manager Gareth Southgate was so taken with it he asked Griffin to make a special recording to play at the following day’s match. It was played to the crowd at half-time and to the players in the dressing room after the game…

…The incident received global press coverage, most of it positive… It was immediately picked up by hundreds of online sports pages and blogs. The Mark Viduka song was added to Griffin’s MySpace page the following day and clocked up over 75,000 plays by football fans worldwide…

» Read the full entry.

[See post to listen to audio] » Alistair Griffin – Mark Viduka

The next song is by a band who echo The Hitchers somewhat: Instead of a group member having an associated with football name, it was the band who named themselves – Barcelona.
The band were originally from Arlington Virginia but are now defunct.

The player was the U.S.A goalkeeper Kasey Keller and unlike the above two songs and their semi-truthful accounts, this game actually took place.

The match was a 1998 CONCAFAF Gold Cup game in which the USA beat Brazil 1-0, thanks mostly in part to the heroics of Keller in the USA goal making 10 saves that day. Romario later on remarked: “That is the best performance by a goalkeeper I have ever seen.”

The band Barcelona then immortalised Keller in song:

[See post to listen to audio] » Barcelona – Kasey Keller

That’s the end of this chapter. The next one will be online very soon.

Ask your Dad or Grandad and they’ll have very clear memories of watching The Gentle Giant:

The 6ft 2in Welsh legend was originally signed in 1948 by Leeds United after a trial and initially played at centre half. In fact in his first team debut (in a friendly against Queen Of The South) he was given the task of marking Billy Houliston, who a few weeks before had run the English defence ragged when playing for Scotland (in a match they won 3-1), but when Houliston was up against the 17-year old John Charles, he never got a shot in and the match ended in a nil-nil.

When playing for Leeds and a couple of seasons later he was put up front and scored twice in his second match at centre forward, but spent the rest of his time at the back. Two years after his professional debut Charles was named in the Welsh national squad and in 1958 he appeared – and scored in the World Cup finals.

Whilst also at Leeds he played a pivotal role in helping them get promoted from the old 2nd Division back into Division 1, but after a terrible fire gutted the West Stand the club were in financial straits so they listened to offers for their star center half-turned striker.

It would be the Italian club Juventus who came calling and they paid a world record (at the time) fee of £65,000 for him. Unlike other British players years later Charles settled very well in Italy and n his five years at Juve he scored 93 goals in 155 matches. He was an intergral part of a side who won the Scudetto three times and the Italian Cup twice.

John was given the nickname of “Il Gigante Buono” because in all his time playing for Leeds, in all his time at Juventus and for Wales, Roma, Cardiff and Hereford afterwards the big near-14 stone centre forward was never cautioned. In his entire career was never sent off.

In 1997 on their club centenary the Juventus fans voted him to be the best-ever foreign player to play for their team. John Charles is still talked about by the supporters at the Stadio Olimpico, even by those who never saw him play.

As mentioned John found himself suited to Italian football and was very at home in Italy. He had a powerful set of lungs on him and we are privileged to be able to hear the great one sing some (gentle) love songs:

» John Charles w/William Galassini Orchestra – Love In Portofino » John Charles – La Fine

Additional:
Some video of the Juventus 1957/58 season, including the arrival of John Charles:

Extra Time:
The Welsh singer Lorraine King sings a tribute to King John which reflects on his life:

Lorraine King – Il Gigante Buono: [See post to listen to audio] Stream only. Find more by this artist here. » A visual representation of the song.

Further reading:

Screencap from his Funny or Die video Attack Cardio with Vinnie Jones

…and who is happy to retain this hard man image because it keeps getting him work in such box-office-busters/Oscar ignored classics such as Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties, Mean Machine, EuroTrip, The Big Bounce, She’s the Man, Night at the Golden Eagle, Swordfish, and X-Men: The Last Stand.

Jones, Vincent Peter says himself about this:

“Puffy faces, beer bellies – I can’t afford to go that way. For the parts I play I’ve got to look respectable, lean and mean.”

I have to say though… look at those hamster cheeks in that Funny or Die video.

- Looking back on his footballing career and his opinion on that was:

“I’ve always felt that people put me down, and I’d fight back. I played football 15 years, and nobody gave me any credit, and they never will do.”

He still plays – Probably doesn’t get credit or much attention for a team he plays for at his new gaff called the Hollywood All Stars Football Club who a few months back played the Sirens of Soccer in a charidee match:

Taking us back in time now before the bar fightin’ and the Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels breakout role. But after his high tackling and knacker grabbing playing days.

It was a transitional period in which Vinnie tried a few things out. When he was still playing there was that “Soccer Hard Men” video and Jones liked that time in front of the camera so he began to pop up on various TV shows, such as the UK version of Gladiators. Also around then he went into the recording studio and football and music, who as we know should be two strangers that pass in the night. But unfortunately they ran into Vinnie Jones.

A couple of his single releases plus a few choice cuts from his (thankfully) one and only album:

[See post to listen to audio] » Vinnie Jones – Crazy Games [See post to listen to audio] » Vinnie Jones – Wooly Bully [See post to listen to audio] » Bad, Bad Leroy Brown (With Jools Holland) - Video [See post to listen to audio] » Vinnie Jones – Shake A Tail Feather

Oh those pearls of wisdom...?

It seems that Mr Jones has a testicle obsession. Not just with grabbing Gazza’s, he also can’t stop talking about them.

Be it with a spoken intro on Joss Stone’s 3rd album:

[See post to listen to audio] » Joss Stone/Change – Vinnie Jones Intro

…or when playing a character in the movie Snatch:

[See post to listen to audio] » Vinnie Jones – Shrinking Balls (spoken audio)

(Vinnie old mate you need to talk to a psychiatrist.)

Additionally: If you go to the News Page on the Hollywood Allstars FC website you’ll hear a looping dance instrumental with an audio sample of the former hod carrier saying: “Who the fcuk are ya ?” – and he answers his own question with: “The greatest football team in the world.”   At least that’s what I think it says.
Again Vincent old bean….make an appointment.

Ah since it’s Crimbo go on then

He can’t act. He can’t sing. He went a long way.

You want to listen to all the tracks on that album ? Seriously ?

Go on and click on Vinnie’s derrière below to continue:

The Bayern cover versions last week and now this. Yes I do hate you.

Ah I betcha know who and what is coming next.

This next film was a Hollywood vehicle intended to launch someone into future starring roles.

What happens is the person in question was a support in a.n.other movie and subsequently got a lot of notice in this role (c.f: Russell Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and then the big studios take a gamble by putting together something in which they hope will put the leading actor onto the A list.
And of course make the studio a ton of money as well.

An attempt at this was made with:

Vinnie Jones in: MEAN MACHINE

Previously known for his less than subtle tackles on some others and whilst still as a player Vinnie was paid to front the video: Soccer’s Hard Men which got him into a bit of bother:

…He also was the presenter of the infamous Soccer’s Hard Men video released in 1992, which featured archived footage of himself and many other “hard men” of the game, and included advice for budding “hard men”. After the release of the video, Jones was fined £20,000, banned for six months, and suspended for three years from The FA for “bringing the game into disrepute.” Wimbledon chairman Sam Hammam branded Jones a “mosquito brain”. Jones continued to find trouble. After exceeding 40 disciplinary points he was once again summoned to Lancaster Gate, but failed to appear. The FA banned Jones indefinitely. Jones explained that he had “mixed up” the date of the hearing; the FA imposed a four-match ban and told Jones to “grow up.” Jones commented later: “The FA have given me a pat on the back. I’ve taken violence off the terracing and onto the pitch.”     [source]

He liked this brush with the media and the exposure it gave him. After retirement from playing he subsequently began to appear on various telly programmes as well as a (thankfully) short musical career. [More about that at a later date.]

Then a couple of years later a mate of his who was a budding film director cast him in this low budget, UK made Cockerney caper and thus… Hold on a sec…

Can I get a… on this…? Yes…? Vinnie Jones is now a thespian. A confirmed one at that.

After the unexpected success of Lock, Stock and notice by everyone of Vinnie’s natural progression from a hard man into a err…. hard man, more money was thrown at Guy Ritchie to see if lightning can strike twice in the same place and it pretty much did.

After these two strong showings by Vinnie it was time to see if he could hold up on his own and with Matthew Vaughn, (the Producer of Lock, Stock and Snatch) & Guy Ritchie as Exec Producer they looked at how they could get a quick return on this investment by taking and remaking a well known story and tooling it for Vinnie’s obvious talents. Thus the change the American football into soccer Mean Machine movie was made.

» Click to view some stills from the film

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What’s the film like ? Dunno. I haven’t seen it myself. I’ve looked through a few online reviews and it’s basically what you see is what you get – an English accented remake of the 1974 Burt Reynolds movie The Longest Yard.

The Soundtrack:

Now this is the thing about what is billed as an original soundtrack. It actually is.

Just like the Jimmy Grimble soundtrack this is an album that could exist separate from the movie. If I played the whole CD to you, barring a few songs, you would not guess that this was a soundtrack for a footballing movie.

This compilation is a mix of genres with some familiar pop tunes as well as some obvious linked to footie songs.

A few examples:

[See post to listen to audio] » Krafty Kuts – Who’s Da Man
[See post to listen to audio] » Tin Tin Out -Strings For Yasmin
[Actual footie connection with that one.]
[See post to listen to audio] » Firstborn – The Mood Club
[See post to listen to audio] » Pressure Drop – Dusk

This next one which I’m led to believe was featured in the film but didn’t make it onto the soundtrack:

[See post to listen to audio] » Lo-Fidelity Allstars Feat Pigeonhead – Battle Flag

I’ve grouped together there what would be considered as dance music.
(Going a bit corny here, but these are some banging tunes)

There are some film score tracks on the CD too, which don’t actually sound like your average film score music. Especially when you read the title of the first track and then have a listen to it:

[See post to listen to audio] » Mean Machine Soundtrack – Danny In Solitary
[See post to listen to audio] » Mean Machine Soundtrack – Flight Night

Not what you expect when you think “solitary confinement”

Wrapping this up for now… I might post some additional if you ask nice, but for now a couple of very infectious tunes:

[See post to listen to audio] » Middlerow -Right Proper Charlie
“Bruv ! Are you sure bruv ?!” My favourite of all the tracks.

[See post to listen to audio] » Little T & One Track Mike – Wings

One each from both sides of the Atlantic there. Neither of them like the above (and previous soundtracks) have anything to do with footie. In fact the last one references basketball, but bugger it. I like the tunes.

Some of the postings and reviews I’ve read have either forgotten or not mentioned this. Please remember when you do go and see it that most of what happens is from the imagination of the author – and subsequently the screenwriters.
And by the looks of the trailer below it might be one of the better football movies.

Click here to watch the Trailer

But this post isn’t about that, or about his 44 days at Leeds.

This is a blatant attempt to pull some traffic here because of the interest in the current subject.

Cloughy was one of those who easily divided opinions. To some he was an arrogant big mouth. To others he was the best man never to be the manger the England team. I am with the former and although I recognise that he was one of the best English managers, he wasn’t for the top job.

Club-wise he was outstanding and those of use longer in the tooth will remember his days at Forest.

Again I’m not going to write all that much about him because that’s not what F&M does. There are plenty of other places which will fill your needs on that.

We are here for the music and about a few tunes done about him »

The Toy Dolls did this one in 1989 about the incident when a fan ran onto the pitch (after Forest beat QPR) and Brian gave him a cuff round the ear:

[See post to listen to audio] » The Toy Dolls – Cloughy Is A Bootboy - Lyrics Cloughy’s Lads Are Full O’ Gloom Coz Cloughy’s In The Changin’ Room Why Can’t He Nick Off & Leave Them Be? He Screams & Yells & Just Because Cloughy Knows That He’s The Boss Cloughy’s Rough & Tough Cloughy’s Barmy Cloughy’s In A Huff & Tense Cloughy’s Teeth Begin To Clench A Cloughy Fan Asks For His Autograph “Can Yer Sign This Brian?” He Nuts Him First & Smacks Him Next Nobody Makes Cloughy Vexed Cloughy Is The Chief Cloughy’s The Gaffa Cloughy Is A Football Hooligan Now Cloughy’s Only At His Prime With His Fist In Yer Nose When The Referee Blows Full Time Brian Brian Kicks & Slaps & He Shouts Oi! Brian Brian Cloughy Is A Bootboy The Judge Tells Cloughy To Keep Calm He’s Up For Grievous Bodily Harm Cloughy Stands And Begins To Yell Cloughy Must Have A Screw Loose Coz Cloughy Says He’s Gonna Cruc Ify The Cops When He Gets Out The Cell Cloughy Is A Football Hooligan Cloughy Is A Football Hooligan He Kicks & Slaps, He Thumps & Cracks He Nuts & Smacks And Shouts Oi!

Next up is one that I don’t have clear info on. I’m sure that the name of the artists and the title of the song have got swapped, but I may be wrong. Some sampling of Brian talking included in:

[See post to listen to audio] Give Us A Kiss – Sorted For Clough

Lastly, for now is this one which was done around the time of the 1991 FA Cup Final… the one cup he could never win…

[See post to listen to audio] » Fat and Frantic – Brian!

- Songs above provided by Through the seasons before us – an NFFC Blog.
- Next up with be the conclusion to this journey of Clough with a couple involving the man himself.

- Starting with the wee man below:

This isn’t about his current position, it is a tune that reflects on his time in a yellow strip.

The song gets very specific and it reflects upon on particular match in which he scored a hat-trick. I don’t know which game it was, if there any Leeds fans out there who can provide more info…

The tune about a Scottish player in an English club was written by a band from Limerick, Ireland.

The Hitchers were/are still going I think… and this track was done in the late 90′s and appeared on their excellently titled album: “It’s All Fun & Games ‘Til Someone Loses An Eye”.

If you want to go out and look for it – the song was on a Double A side single with the other track: “You Can Only Love Someone So Much But You Can Hate Them All The Way To Hell”. Apparently it made it onto John Peel’s Festive 50 in 1997.

Enough chatter. On with the listening…>

[See post to listen to audio] » The Hitchers – Strachan

» Click to read the excellent lyrics

EXTRA TIME:

Some more stuff for reading/watching/listening…

- The wasn’t a video made for the song, but some enterprising bloke has created one:

- Have a read of an interview with The Hitchers drummer who also wrote the song. His name ? Niall Quinn. No seriously, it is. And no it isn’t… In the interview he talks about the single and if they have met Strachan. – At the time of this posting they haven’t but I read somewhere else that they had and/or had received a note from him.

- Like the song ? Have a listen to more of their stuff here.

A big thank you to Jim in York who originally suggested this (plus another one) - and a thousand apologies that it took me so long to post it.

Yes that’s right, there are so many footie&calypso songs that I had to split this in half.

In the 50′s there was a craze for the music in Britain and this even spread over to football.

There were some notable and very famous calypso singers… and I’m not talking about Harry Belefonte, he was the commercial populist version who cashed in on the craze. The real stars of the genre were singers like Lord Kitchner and Mighty Sparrow.

It seems with calypso you gave the artist a subject he would then create a song about it. Anything at all. I’ve seen calypso titles about the New York Subway, buying a TV and about not needing glasses to see. (Long story, don’t ask).

So with the beautiful game being such a big obsession with us it was only natural that it would eventually be covered.

  I wanted to post these in order that they were released, but I couldn’t verify what year some of them were done. So taking a best guess… Update: Just found some info about the year each song was released.

So then:

- The very earliest one is from 1953, this one I know because it was entitled as such.
In this one the singer Edmundo Ros is in the pub when some people come up and ask him to settle a bet on who is the better football team:

[See post to listen to audio]
» Edmundo Ros – Exotic Football Calypso of 1953

- Next up is from 1 year later is Edric Conner with a short one, but a long lasting one. This song has been re-recorded and re-released often since it’s first outing in 1954:

[See post to listen to audio]
Edric Conner -Manchester United Calypso

- Two years after that and the king of calypso steps up to give us some footballing history about Manchester – United and City.
He tells us in song form about the fortunes of the clubs from the 1940′s to the present (1956) day:

[See post to listen to audio] » Lord Kitchner and Fitzroy Coleman Band – The Manchester Football Double

Then there’s a space of 8 years and in 1964 Ronnie Hilton sings about the very successful (at the time) Leeds United…
*WARNING* At the very beginning some blokes remind you – very loudly – of which team the song is about:

[See post to listen to audio]
» Ronnie Hilton – Leeds United Calypso

- Fast forward another 8 years to 1972 and two tractor fancying/turkey plucking rivals release their calypso’s:

[See post to listen to audio] » Johnny Cobnut – Ipswich Football Calypso

[See post to listen to audio] » Chic Applin Sound – Norwich City Calypso

There will be more general football calypso’s posted another time, for now if you want to discover more calypso music have a look at Honest Jon’s Records, which has some history about the arrival of some immigrants to London in the late 40′s and the resultant rise and craze for the music.

Also have a visit to Schadenfreudian Therapy which as collected some 50′s & 60′s vintage calypso.

“He’s fat, he’s round, he’s taking Crystal Palace down…”

The Swede with a turning circle of the Titanic came to our attention when he scored the winning goal in their match against England which knocked us out of Euro ’92.

Well come on. It was the Graham Turnip era and have a look at who was on the field for us that night:

England: Woods, Batty, Pearce, Keown, Walker, Palmer, Platt, Webb, Sinton (Merson, 79), Lineker (Smith, 64), Daley

Andy Sinton ? Andy Sinton !

(Another shameful note from that night was with it being the last match Lineker played for England. He was subbed for Alan Smith in the 64th minute thus robbing us of a chance to equalize and him of equalling Bobby Charlton’s record.)

Two years later Tomas Brolin broke his ankle and was never the same after that. He recovered from his injury but in that time he was laid up Brolin put on some weight and never got rid of it. This didn’t stop Leeds United paying £4.5m for him in what turned out to be a disastrous move. In the 18 months he was there he played 25 times and scored only 4 goals in 2 seasons. After this he was loaned out a few times before Leeds eventually put him out of his misery (they cancelled his contract).

As we’ve seen with the choices by some clubs with their managers, nobody seemed to notice or learned anything from this and 1998 he became the assistant player-manager alongside Palace’s best ever player – Attilio Lombardo.
But the bald Eagle and the rotund one couldn’t keep them in the Prem and after relegation at the end of the season, Brolin finally took the hint and retired from football.

Nowadays he is a successful businessman and owns a Swedish-Italian restaurant (no surprise there then) back in Sweden. More amusingly he became the mouthpiece for selling vacuum cleaners online.

Now comes the strange part.

In relation to football and music and Tomas Brolin I found this Swedish language song which is sung to the tune of Dolly Parton’s “Joline.”   I’ve done a search but obviously since I don’t speak the lingo I can’t find any additional info. If you do know more then drop me a line.

In the meantime have a listen to: “Brolin, Brolin, Brolin, Broliiiiinnnn….”

» Unknown Artist – Brolin

It's not over yet. Time for the weird part.

Another bit of lyrics for you: “It’s my life….It’s my life….” [repeat ad nauseum]

Yeah you remember Dr Alban and that fecking annoying song which got even more distasteful when they used it on a Tampax advert.

Dr Alban is from Sweden and in 1998 he got some famous friends of his to appear in a video for his single, called Alla Vi (Friends in Need). These friends included Bjorn Borg…yes THE Bjorn Borg, and the Leeds United & Crystal Palace legend pie eater Brolin.