A couple of audio clips I stumbled across found when – as these things always happen – when I was looking for something else. Then after finding these clips I forgot what I went looking for in the first place.. Again doesn’t this always happen.

[From then and now]

First one comes from one of the original Goons. One of the Fathers of our surreal British comedy. Michael Bentine had a 30 minute sketch show on the BBC called It’s A Square World…

Bentine, Michael. The one that did all the crazy voices. Look him up.
You may remember him better for Michael Bentine’s Potty Time. Kids show with the hand puppets and Bentine did all their voices. Sadly I could only find one clip of the show on YouTube.

Anyhoddles.

I don’t know if the clip is the full sketch of just an excerpt. There are CD’s on Amazon UK that have the track, but it doesn’t give any detail as to how long the sketch was. In either way…

» Michael Bentine with the football results

Next up: It wouldn’t be a footie/comedy post if I didn’t mention him »

Not on YouTube but worth searching out – The one where they talk about Lineker.

And Finally: If you’ve seen or heard any of the adverts done by $ky Sports for their football coverage…

Done by Mitchell and Webb and I’m not sure of the source, whether it was taken from their radio series or TV show.

» Mitchell and Webb – Watch the football !

The Footie Song:

In the meantime some non-footie newsstuff I’ve found about Derek and Skeletor:

Via Metro.co.uk: Beckhams up for comedy award

It is an award they might not want to actually win – David and Victoria Beckham have been nominated for the title of Funniest Double Act.

The pair are up for the gong thanks to their bid to conquer the US…

Loaded editor Martin Daubney said: “Perhaps it’s Victoria’s growing comedy chest or her attempts to integrate into American culture by pitching at baseball matches that have had the British public laughing.

“It’s been a vintage year for comedy and the nominations in this year’s Laftas are a testament to that.

“The Laftas are voted for by the Great British public which makes them the only comedy awards worth their salt. What we have here are the funniest fellas and fillies in the land – and a few surprises, too.

Another one:

Via Digital Spy: Beckhams top ‘Overrated 100′ poll

The Beckhams have topped a magazine list of the most overrated celebrities.

The former England football captain and Spice Girl, who moved to LA earlier this year, were number one in Radar magazine’s list of the ‘Most Over-Hyped People on the Planet’.

Everybody is ripping it out of them, probably glad they moved to LA now than going back to Blighty. But that’s the way with us innit. Build them up and then knock ‘em down.

Another potshot taken at them is a spoof documentary series called Star Stories. This spookily accurate portrayal of their story so far was first shown on Channel 4 this time (September) last year.

View the episode…

Edit: Can't embed the video, so click on the image below to view Part 1
» Part 2 here.
» Part 3 here.

“GARY NEVILLE !”    

Anton Reid	Antonio Puerta
Ray Jones	Rhys Jones

I like this trend now where the fans stand and give a minutes applause. It is a good thing. We should celebrate their life, not mope about it.

A guide to what is available online:

The best of the best is the Guardian Football Weekly with James Richardson.
He of the old Football Italia on Channel 4 and now on Sentanta Sport, complete with his puns can be heard every Monday – and now every Thursday too.*
*An exception for this week – the Football Weekly Extra will be posted on Wednesday to cover the Champions League.

Have a listen to today’s (Mon 27th Aug) edition below:
[See post to listen to audio]

(Click on James’ bonce to go to the website)

- Next up is The Times Online, who last season had Danny Kelly (previously of that late night telly version of a sports/footie phone-in on Channel 4) but have dropped him for this new season in favour of Gab Marcotti (Talksport and Sky Sports) with Guillem Balague (Spanish sports writer, a big pal of Rafa’s.) They don’t seem to have a regular weekly schedule sorted as of yet. Last posted pod was on August 17th. Click the banner below to go to the site and to listen to the last one:

- Another occasional one, not updated for a week or so is a footie fan website, which does as it says on the box – FanBanta. They have comedians and big footie fans Kevin Day and Mark Webster have a banter about the game and in the one linked to the left – talk to Peter Shilton about England’s problems between the sticks.

If you really luv yer footie and want a daily dose…

There is a quick and dirty summary/update of the day’s action via the Radio 5 Live and their 5Live Football Daily. Click on the image/link below:

– Or if you want a longer pod (2 hours) and a different view on things, try this one from a couple of ex-pats now living in the the USA.
World Soccer Daily is a radio show that can be heard on Sirus Satellite radio. Broadcast every day between 10-12 Pacific Time (8 hours behind the UK). Since they are in the same place these two big gobbed presenters talk about Derek and the LA Galaxy, plus the MLS, the Premier League and everything else so..ccer. They take calls from other Brit Expats and any US Americans and like such as… interested in the game. Click the image to the right to go to the site.

They don’t have a link to their mp3 on the site, you have to either:
-> Subscribe via ITunes (Not recommended, that ITunes stuff is a scam. You can only download and listen on their sofware/hardware, can’t transfer and listen on any other mp3 player)

–> Subscribe to their RSS Feed. * (Recommended. You don’t have to download any software, can listen anywhere. – Grab their RSS Feed and then go to Netvibes.com and enter in the link there. Once you’ve done that you can then click to listen to or to download the file.)

I know one man doesn’t make a team, but it would be good for the Galaxy to actually have a decent team to play with that one man.

So far since DB23′s arrival they have only won once – and that was thanks to a certain Englishman’s ability to bend one in.

LA Galaxy have to show that they have bought in this one player not just to put bums on seats/sell lots of replica shirts, but to be the ones that help raise awareness for footie in the USA and to do that they have to sack the 2nd Division standard coach.

Get someone in that as well as the Becks, will also raise the form level and will show the rest of the world that the septics are serious about this soccerball game.

Frank Yallop was an average player in his old 1st Division playing days (expecting an email from mickmills to discuss this any second now…) and in my opin, is an average soccerkickball coach too.
Alright he managed the Canadian national side, but that was the Canadian national side, not exactly a high in the FIFA rankings team.

There are (using the American spelling) rumors though, that the LA Galaxy’s Technical Advisor might be moving over to another position in the franchise.
From MLS Rumors:

As the search for a replacement for Frank Yallop proceeds, MLSR sources report that Jurgen Klinsmann has formally been offered the job of LA Galaxy coach/manager.Sources say Klinsmann has been seen touring the Home Depot Center facilities. Jurgen Klinsmann does not live far from Carson, CA and would a natural choice for a high level coach with international experience.

Update: An article in the Times online about the same

Yes I know that California Klinsmann hasn’t exactly got a long coaching history behind him either, but he has played at the highest level and managed the German national team in the World Cup where they were only 1 match away from the Final.
As the quote above says he doesn’t live that far from the ground and I think he would be intrigued by this new and different sort of challenge…

To cushion any potential embarrassment possibly created when Ste McL and his 3rd choice picks play in their match tonight against dem Germans – here’s a previous Eng v Ger friendly from 1975 with Bell, Keegan, Hudson, Macdonald, Ball, Shannon and co:

Commentator for the World Of Sport broadcast was the much missed Brian Moore, and the summariser at the end was the late great Sir Alf Ramsey.

“Ah football eh ? At the old Wembley. Under the floodlights and in the mud. Marvelous.”

Lord Ferg of the swamp. Who, just before the season started, decided to sell Rossi and Alan Smith, get another striker in who like the injured Rooney likes to play outside the box and seemingly he’s fallen out with Saha. You have to ask after all this and the missed opportunities to test Kasper on Sunday where he expects the goals to come from.

Poor old little Sammy. As a player he was a legend for the Lidipool, you could never knock the rotund one off the ball. After he hung up his boots he was also solid as the number 2, the right hand man, but now he’s been put up front and his newBolton can’t stop letting them in. Is he first up in the managerial sack race ?

The other big game on Sunday was spoilt by some dodgy effing reffing from Robbie “two yellow’s” Styles. From reading some of the reports and listening to the pundits who saw the match he had a nightmare of a game. He gave a pen that wasn’t and at the time looked like he gave two yellow cards to Essien. Because of his clangers Styles has been dropped from the next match he was supposed to officiate and apparently has rung Rafa to offer his apols. Who will probably not be all that forgiving because Liverpool will look at it as two points lost. The antics of the Chelski players has to be called into question too. Every time he blew the whistle for a decision against them, they were all in Styles’ face.
» Lots of Flickr photo’s of the match here

Quick mentions also for »
Martin Jol. Although Spurs put 4 past the Prem’s newest whipping boys, there are whispers that his bosses were over in Spain chatting up Juande Ramos, the Sevilla manager who before Sven came in, was interested in the Citeh job but is still wanting to manage in the EPL.

Jens Lehmann. Who seems to have caught (or not as the case may be) the Calamity James disease and let another slip past him. That’s 2 in 2 weeks now. Things will be interesting in the upcoming friendly on Wednesday, if there are any player fit enough to play that is.

And finally… James Richardson and buddies dip into the football pool with another podcast.

That’ll be $250 Million please.

Derek was so excited by that goal that the first thing he did after he was subbed was to post an update on his blog:

“Hello everypeeps,

Speaks soon
Derek”

Curbs and the Hammers, who didn’t even trubble a new Man Citeh team who’s back four have been playing together for less than a week. It was Kasper chip off the old block Schmeichel’s debut Premier League match too !
The West Ham players were booed off the pitch at half time and at full time. I bet the bookies have shortened Curbishley’s odds for the chop.

Carlisle Utd sacked Neil McDonald… E i e i…oh.
Got the boot after the first match (which was a 1-all draw with Walsall) I don’t think it’s a new record. I remember reading about some other boss getting his cards even earlier than that.
What is going on with the sheep shaggers Cumbrians up there ? They’ve just been promoted up to the old Division 2 and this is how they start their campaign ?

Worrysome times for the Engurland too. With a report the other day that bumbling idiot Ste McL hasn’t got enough choices to fill in at the back, including the goal and is thinking about recalling Sol Campbell and Calamity James !
If we are that desperate how about giving Michael Duberry a shout too. He (might have) put the kybosh on our Euro qualifier by taking out Dwayne Looney before half-time last Sunday, why not shove him in attack ?

Hey don’t laugh, Lord Ferg had to shove O’Shea up front for the rest of the match, which begs the question of why did he spend that much on a defensive midfielder and another forward who like Rooney likes to play outside the box. Where are their goals going to come from ?

Meanwhile over in La la land Derek continued his tour of the benches and sat out of another game. But the respective owners of the away teams (Toronto & Boston) must be happy because each venue was sold out with people coming to watch Beckham watch a football match.

Talking of ankles… (We wern’t ? Well we are now.) Amazingly even with Becks collecting the splinters he still says that he’ll be ready for the England friendly v Germany on August 22nd ! You think this is not going to happen, but it did with England’s last outing when Derek was just getting back into the Madrid team, still lacking match fitness and as we saw against Estonia last June he was needed.

Over at the swamp Roo is out with My Left Foot, up at the Barcodes little SuperOwen wasn’t named in the squad for their opening game. Neither was the BeanCrouch at Lidipool, who looking at all the new signings looks like he’s down to third choice now.

So as with Man USA I have to ask again – Where are our (England) goals going to come from ? Who is going to be up front on August 22nd ?
Well actually that doesn’t matter that much… alright it’s Germany but the more important dates are on September 8th and 12th with the Euro 2008 Qualifiers which we have to win…

Edit/Update: Martin Jol – Played 2. Lost 2. Predicts player Nelkna has uttered his first “bollocks!” already.
It’s not all that bad. Yet. Yes it is a bad start but if they can get a good performance (and obviously a win) under their belt against the Prem’s new whipping boys Derby County on Saturday…

- – -

…And with all that foreboding of doom sounded I’ll leave you with links to a couple of footie podcasts where all the chaps talk about the opening day of the new season.

Have a listen to:

» Guardian Unlimited Football Weekly.
(Lighthearted banter with James Richardson, Sid Lowe, Barry Glendenning and co.)

» The Times Online footie podcast.
(Bit more of a serious discussion with Gab Marcotti, Martin Samuel, Mark Chapman and co.)

Both worth a listen if you’ve got an hour to kill.