Football and Music

The original intention this week was to post contributions sent to me by the prediction league players DaveC and MickMills. But since we’ve descended into a light entertainment hell I might as well swim around in this lake of fire for a bit.

I was going to save this next one for the next time that Scotland play, to remind them of a Scotia World or European footie/musical past which was bad at one point… but at one point it was even worse that you can imagine.

No you can’t. Don’t even try. Trust me. You really don’t want to remember this next one.

Scotland. 1982 World Cup.

“Aye.” You say. “BA Robertson, John Gordon Sinclair and all that. It was nae that bad. Pretty funny actually.”

And I agree. As I said on that post it in my top 5 of favourite footie and musical recordings. But let me add two more words which will rewrite the history and will inflict pain upon reading:

The Krankies.

I always thought it was a bit creepy - that bloke with a schoolboy.
Yes we all knew it was a girl. The same way everybody knew Boy George was a girl, but still…

If that memory doesn’t scare you then please let me assault you with this:

Your eyes do not deceive. What you are seeing there according to this eil.com page is the “Official 1982 UK 7″ for the Scottish World Cup team”. There is the addition of the official 1982 Scotland World Cup Mascot called Sandy on the cover to back this up. Plus the SFA copyright below his boot.

Still not a dream.. nightmare more like. It happened. It really happened.
I tried to search for any more info on this offence to… well basically everything that is well and good, but couldn’t find anything. I also searched for information about Sandy, the badly drawn mascot, but again results came up as nought. There was obviously a scored earth campaign launched by the Scottish FA afterwards to wipe all records, to remove any evidence that it ever existed.

But somehow it survived… like Jason in them fecking Halloween movies, it just will not die.

Please try to remain calm during the playback :

This is only (only he says !) a 1 & half minute very low quality recording, but come on… do you really want to hear a higher bitrate version ?

Again like the post from yesterday I haven’t added this to the Jukebox. But if you want to get revenge on a mate, torture somebody in Gitmo or something then right-click and Save Target/Link here.

So it was Stan who was mutual consented first then… What made the FAI think that the assistant coach of Walsall, who in their words had “bags of enthusiasm to make up for the lack of experience” would be well suited to manage an International team ?     Happy 150th birthday to Sheffield FC - the world’s oldest football club. Next month they’ll be playing a friendly against Inter Milan.

That’s it. I give up.

There isn’t any point in continuing.

I have just discovered something… actually Baker and Kelly did by anyway…

Before I continue on listen below.

Seriously. Do not read any further until you have heard:

You see ! You see !

No don’t stop it. You have to play through the pain.

Right now I imagine that at least 50% of you have just committed an act of violence on some inanimate object. Your printer has just gone flying off your desk. It’s alright. I understand. It is justified.

I’ll try to explain…

The object of this site is to find that footie/musical perfect storm. Sometimes they can be bad but they are usually still listenable. Until now.

The major offender of your ears just now is one Jess Conrad.
A name you may have heard in passing but one of those that you don’t know why you are familiar with and from where. Think cheezy lounge singers. This bloke is the template for all of them.

After hearing Conrad (with Tanya Tenola in that song - we must name and shame everybody involved) I clutched my head, peered through my fingers at my computer as it why, after my treating it with such care and attention, why would my laptop want to hurt me so.

As mentioned the original discovery was made by the two Danny’s - Baker and Kelly posted their latest podcast and now because of hearing that song I feel the life being drained out of me.

Why should I carry on…? Why should I bother anymore…

No come on snap out of it. Don’t think about it. Don’t even try to remember the tune.

Dammit too late ! He’s got into my head. I can still hear it…

“Passing kicking   shooting dribbling   tackling heading   and ball control…

BUT…

IT. GETS. WORSE.

Upon first hearing this I had to find out more. I don’t know why, but I think if I have to get hurt from this I’m going to take out as many of you with me as possible !

A quick Google easily found a bigger horror. More terror than you can imagine.

Again before I continue I must mention WFMU’s Beware of the Blog a place full of musical oddities which you have to spend some time going through.

It is to their ‘credit’ that they posted the origins to this footie and music crime committed by Conrad. But guess what.. he was not alone - and it now gets weirder…

This is turning into a long post so I will continue after the jump :

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